1000 Ways To Destroy Jiro's Hat
by 3BFFs
Summary: You know you hate it, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. It's that stupid hat. It has annoyed Bluefire-chan and Zara, BFFs 3&1, to the extent of destroying it once and for all in many stupid ways. Title is parody of 1000 Ways To Die, but that's where the similarity to that show stops. We're not killing Jiro, just his hat... hopefully... Rating may go up for later chapters.
1. Dry Clean Only

It was the hat. It was bugging us. Too much. Why the Black Blood wore it, we had no idea whatsoever. It looked like a red witch hat. Which would be fine, except for that stupid buckle!

"Zara, I hate my big brother's hat," Bluefire-chan growled. "I... need to get rid of his hat... once and for all!"

"Count me in. Flapping all about, it mocks us with its idiocy."

And so, we started writing down some ideas to destroy it. However, after a few minutes, we were stumped as to figuring out how it could be removed from our lives.

"What are its weaknesses? How do we defeat a hat?"

"Washing it? Last time I actually listened to him, all of Jiro-nii-san's clothing is dry cleaned."

We proceeded to dump the hat into the washing machine, and after it was finished, the dryer. Soon, Jiro came in, hatless.

"Bluefire-chan, I need- ah, I see, you're doing laundry. I won't bother you in that case. So, good-" He was cut off as the dryer's timer beeped, indicating it was done. The door popped open, and inside was... "My hat!" Jiro ran up to the dryer, and pulled out a small clump of red material: the hat had shrunk to the size of what would fit a Chihuahua, save the buckle, which didn't shrink at all.

"I can't believe it actually worked, Bluefire. We've gotten rid of the hat."

Bluefire gave a large smile. "High five!"

However, during our conversation, Jiro had walked out of the room. When the high five was over, my face is what caused Bluefire to turn around very slowly.

"Bluefire-chan, did you take the chocolate out of my hat when you washed it?" She nodded, pointing to the ironing board, where a huge mound of chocolate lay. "Ah, thank you!" Cradling chocolate in both arms, Jiro left the laundry room, buckle bobbing on his normal sized hat.

"We've got to get that hat," I say.

* * *

The 3BFFs do NOT own Black Blood Brothers, or any of the crossovers in later ways.

We need ideas REALLY BADLY for future chapters, and by future, we mean future. We already have around 50 ideas, so if you submit one, it will be put on a list and appear in the distant future.


	2. Stink Bomb of Doom

**Author's Note : **Hey guys Bff#3 writing and if you don't know this fic is a collab-fic between me and Bff#1. Reviews are appreciated and necessary for unique ways to destroy the hat.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I paced the floor, thinking about the acursed red thing my brother calls a hat. It has been annoying me since the day I came to the Special Zone and it still annoys me to this day. I really want it dead and my buddy Zara will help me do it. I then looked to a picture on my dresser and an evil grin grew on my face. Lets see that hat come back after what I have in store for it.

* * *

"Where have you been? I've been calling you for hours!" Zara exclaimed as I entered our secret hideout a.k.a. the basement of Zelman Clock. I smirked as I emptied a bag onto the table in front of her. She stared at it intently before looking up at me.

"What is all this stuff?" She asked her head tilted in confusion. I smiled before taking a book out of my black bag. She smiled like the Chesire Cat as she read the title.

* * *

Jiro-nii-san laid there snoring softly, sleeping like an angel. Perfect. Now was the best time to steal that monstracity of a hat, but due to Zara not being a Black Blood like me her footsteps were easily heard by both me and Jiro-nii-san. He woke up and stared into my eyes. I pulled a chocolate bar from my bag and his eyes widened, a bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth. I moved it a few times, his grey eyes following intently and I threw it into the Mimiko's bedroom. Jiro-nii-san followed after it like a dog chasing a stick and I shut the door behind him and blocked with a chair. I walked back and pulled out my supplies, getting to work as Zara went off to find our cohort for this evil plot to destroy the hat.

* * *

I planted the hat into Kotaro's waiting hands and ruffled his hair.

"Listen Kotaro you have the most important job, when Jiro-nii-san comes out of the room make sure he gets his hat," I explained to the blonde child. "Now whatever happens you need to stay here and don't be afraid. If you stand your ground Jiro-nii-san won't be able to hurt you." Kotaro nodded before he stood a foot infront of Jiro-nii-san's prison. Zara and I ran to hide on the roof to await what would happen.

* * *

Kotaro's POV

I stood there like Sister told me to, waiting to prove I can stand up to Brother. He broke open the door and stood there looking very angry. His eyes were dark and scary, but I stayed like Sister told me to, she's so nice and I know she'll never hurt me.

"Why do you have my hat Kotaro?" Brother asked using his scary voice. I gulped and looked into his eyes and stood confidently.

"I made the buckle shinier to surprize you Brother," I said in a serious voice. Brother smiled and put his hat on. I heard a beeping noise before a big boom knocked us both over. A bad smell filled the air and before I could even blink I felt myself become airborne and hit the ceiling.

* * *

I looked to the ceiling and noticed a dent the size and shape of Kotaro. I looked into his room and saw Jiro-nii-san scolding Kotaro about the stink bomb in the hat. Zara and I ran off to laugh in the basement like the insane women we are.

"That my friend was priceless, but there was a hot on Jiro's head," Zara said between her laughs. I smiled before unvailing the list of ways we could destroy the evil monster known as a hat.

"Zara my friend, that hat will die or we'll die trying," I said before laughing crazily and Zara applauding me.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoyed it. If Kotaro wasn't who you wanted to be the scape goat then just replace Kotaro's name with someone else's and then the rest is up to you. Review~


	3. Grape Juice

"So, what the heck are we supposed to do now? Both the shrink cycle AND the stink bomb failed. Is there something wrong with our methods?" I asked, looking at Bluefire-chan.

"Nah, it's not our methods, we just need someone else to help us. Someone with inside information... or something..."

"Hello, darlings~!" a voice said, extremely flamboyantly. "I overheard your conversation, and I agree: Jiro's atrocious hat has to go!" We turned around to see none other than Rinsuke.

"You're in," Bluefire-chan and I said in unison.

Jiro's plan: He and Rinsuke currently have a reservation at a restaurant tonight to talk "business" over dinner. Our plan: Rinsuke orders grape juice, and is startled into doing a spit take all over Jiro's stupid hat. It's absolutely foolproof... or at least, that's what we thought before we reached the restaurant. Currently, we, that's Bluefire-chan and I, are hidden within the depths of a fourth-wall breaking potted plant. We have been in here for about two hours. Rinsuke has gone through five tall glasses of grape juice, and hasn't been able to get startled at anything. We need to do something. Quickly, I pulled out an envelope of badly Photoshopped pictures from my coat pocket, and tossed them onto the table.

"Huh? What's this?" Jiro asked, picking it up. Rinsuke quickly grabbed it out of his hands.

"Oh, nothing, Jiro darling. It just fell out of my wallet, that's all." A horrible lie, seeing how it was a large manila envelope, and Rinsuke hadn't taken his wallet out at all that evening. I could hear Bluefire-chan facepalm... and maybe that was also me... Rinsuke broke the seal and pulled out one of the twenty 8½ by 11 inch pictures I had quickly made only a half hour before going in the potted plant. Yes, I am very good with a computer: The picture he was looking at was of Jiro's face on a bikini model's body walking down a beach. Fortunately, Rinsuke had taken a chug of juice before opening it, and the contents of his mouth had exited onto all of the table and Jiro. With all the commotion, the two of us had slipped out the door and ran down the road, laughing like hyenas.

"That was the worst night ever," Jiro said, walking in. The front of his shirt was soaked, and his hat was purple. "There's no way this can come out."

"How was tonight, Jiro-nii-san?" Bluefire-chan asked innocently. Jiro walked to his room. We were lounging around playing Gerita themed Sims when he came out... his hat perfectly intact.

"Meh. Oh, and Bluefire-chan, by any chance did Zara leave these at the restaurant?" He held up the manilla envelope with some of the pictures sticking out. "It seems like her handiwork."

"It's Photoshopped. Anyone could have made those," I said quickly.

"Then why does it have your signature on them, and the side of the envelope say 'To Rinsuke, From Zara' on it? Hmm?"

I paused, mouth agape, finger pointing as I was trying to spit out an excuse. "Uh... You can't prove anything! Never!" I jumped out of the window, which was easy since I am the Princess of the Sun, after all. Universe benders rule!

* * *

The 3BFFs do NOT own Black Blood Brothers, or any of the crossovers in later ways.

We need ideas REALLY BADLY for future chapters, and by future, we mean future. We already have around 50 ideas, so if you submit one, it will be put on a list and appear in the distant future.

And yes, Zara is the Princess of the Sun, a Universe Bender, from when I, Bff#1, was obsessed with Avatar The Last Air Bender. They supposedly lived on the planet within the sun, she was arranged to marry Zuko, but ended up with Aang because Zuko loved Katara, and Aang fell in love with Zara because they were both pretty much Avatars. Wow, that was a mouthful. lol


	4. Glittery Goodness

**Author's Note : **Hey guys Bff#3 writing hope you enjoyed that last chappie written by Bff#1. This chapter will be to all you glitter lovers everywhere.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I was smiling happily as I skipped down the street from my highschool. Yes I'm in highschool so deal with it! Anywho I was so happy because today is the day the hat will die. I was carrying a large crate with me, one that ensured my success.

* * *

Jiro-nii-san glared at me as I walked in, he somehow knew we were plotting to destroy his hat and were goin to use anymeans necesary.

"What's in there a flamethrower?" Jiro-nii-san questioned asI walked by.

"Nope, just something for a school project. Don't you worry your girly little head that lovely hat of yours is safe," I saidsweetly as I mentally vomitted at the tought of the ugly hat that detracted from my dear sweet brother's beauty. He frowned at me angrily before turning back to his reading. I could laugh at what it was about. Since he met that hot Vocaloid Gakupo, Jiro-nii-san has been trying to learn ho to talk like he was born in this decade instead of in the Stone Age.

* * *

Zara chuckled as she looked over our plan one last time. It was simple really. Get the hat, glitterfy it, put it in Jiro-nii-san's room, get out. So simple a monkey could do it, but we needed the right time to swipe it. I grinned evilly as I thought of the perfect time to steal it.

* * *

Jiro's POV

I read intently so I'll be able to sweet talk that sexy purple-haired man Gakupo. I blushed at the thought of him holding onto my arm and the two of us snuggling underneath the full moon at a picnic at the park. My fantasy was broken by someone. Who dares to break my sexy daydreams! I turn and see Bluefire-chan standing there with a sad look on her face. I felt terrible, but I kept the idea that it could all be a ruse in the back of my mind.

"What's wrong Bluefire-chan? Did your little plan fail?" I asked with venom in my voice. I was taken aback by that tone, I didn't intend on sounding so cross with her. Tears beaded in her eyes and she looked heartbroken.

'Nice work Jiro, you jus screwed up with Bluefire-chan. You know firsthand how sensative she is. Gakupo's very sensative too, so if you can't speak kindly to a young girl an emotionally sensative young Vocaloid is out of the question,' I thought. I held my kid sister tightly and kissed her forehead gently. I would smother her with affection just to prove to myself that I can handle such a fragile person.

* * *

I gave Zara the thumbs up and she lowered the fishing hook to Jiro-nii-san's hat. It hooked very easily and she carefully raised it up to her position. She gave me the thumbs up and I cied harder, effectively distacting my older brother as my friend made off with the catch of the day. I smirked against his warm chest and eagerly awaited Zara's handiwork.

* * *

Zara's POV

Bluefire-chan's a rather crafty girl and it comes in handy especially now when glitter is our destructive method. I opened the crate and was awestruck by the sheer amount of glitter and glitter glue was in there. It was in every color, and every shape pieces of glitter can come in from hearts to stars.I smiled and put the atrocious hat on a pedistal before showering it with glitter and glitterglue faster than humanly possible. This will be the best method to destroy it yet.

* * *

Jiro-nii-san sat with me cooing sweet words and throwing in a few apologies every five minutes as I pretended to have an emotional breakdown. Call me wicked, call me a biatch, but I think of myself as a genius. I've got dirt on Jiro-nii-san and I know how he ticks so I'm only exploiting his weaknesses. After all this is over I think Jiro-nii-san might congradulate me on how brilliant I am. Zara threw the hat onto Jiro-nii-san's head, still a bit wet with glue. Jiro-nii-san ran to the mirror and screamed at the sight of his completely glitterized hat. I held his hand and smiled as I managed to unstick his hat at the expense of a few chunks of his hair. It's not that noticable, if you don't stare at the back of his head. He ran off to his room, probably to cry at the thought of not being able to woo Gakupo into his arms,but instead he returned with that unglittery hat and awicked smile on his face.

"You know, I'll beat you girls yet. Just you wait, I shall be victorious!" Jiro-nii-san exclaimed before laughing like a mad-man. I walked up to him and knocked him unconcious by hitting both of his temples simoltaniously. Zara and I ran, shoving a bar of chocolate into Jiro-nii-san's mouth before running off to Zelman's basement where we would be safe from the angry bear known as my brother when he wakes up.

* * *

**Author's Note: **You lucky ducks. Two chapters in a row! Hope you enjoyed the glitterizing and glitterfying. These are now words so use for some Hetalia characters~Bff#3


	5. Silver Blade

We were in Zelman's basement, continuing to plot. I looked over at Bluefire-chan, holding Romano's moustache, pursing my lips like a monkey, and looking quizzical. She burst out laughing, and I quickly made the moustache disappear.

"Wait a minute, Zara, how did you do that?" She asked.

"I _am_ a Universe bender, you know. I bend the molecules to put together the Periodic Table's elements, and things appear at..." I made a dramatic pause. "The drop of a hat." We both laughed at my stupid joke.

"I have a plan, Zara," Bluefire said to me.

We ran quickly, back to where we left Jiro. He was there, as well as his hat, but he didn't have it. The Silver Blade. So, we grabbed his hat and ran outside to the grass. I really hoped this would work. I reached my right hand into the air, and next thing I knew, there was an exact replica of the sword in my hand. I took the hilt in both my hands as I levitated the idiotic hat from Bluefire's grasp. Jumping up twenty feet in the air, I came down quickly, cutting the hat in two perfect halves. Sheathing the sword as I turned around, Bluefire cheered as the hat disintegrated. The stupid hat had vampiristic properties! We were right!

Just then, Jiro regained consciousness.

"What are you doing with my sword?" He screamed, charging at me. I levitated Bluefire and myself right out of his reach. He started jumping about like a kid reaching for a piñata, and we laughed. And I gave him a treat: A black hole right under us, pouring out an infinite number of chocolate bars. Let the sugar rush begin.

"Oooohhhhh," Jiro moaned, grasping his inflated stomach. Apparently, infinite was too much. Next time, I'm going to go for a thousand mini hotel pillow chocolates. His sugar rush was extremely terrifying.

"Jiro-nii-san, are you okay? That's the most chocolate you've had in one sitting... ever," Bluefire said.

"Bluefire-chan, do me a – favor," Jiro said, looking at her as she lay him down on the couch.

"What? What is it?"

"Get me my backup hat from the garage, will you? I'm too fat and tired to fit myself through the door... again." Yeah, I think I overdid it. To make it up to Jiro, I wiggled my fingers behind me, and made the fat and remaining chocolate in his stomach go away. And then I realized... he had another hat in the garage. I quickly put his brain into REM sleep so I could talk to Bluefire.

"Destroy that hat," I say. We go out to the garage as Jiro gets into a dream about little bars of chocolate dancing on his head, and Gakupo the nutcracker.

* * *

The 3BFFs do NOT own Black Blood Brothers, or any of the crossovers in later ways.

We need ideas REALLY BADLY for future chapters, and by future, we mean future. We already have around 50 ideas, so if you submit one, it will be put on a list and appear in the distant future.

So, that explains Zara's ability as a Universe bender. Time to go to the garage and destroy the hat! Tune in next time! :0)


	6. Goat of Death

**Author's Note : **Alrighty boys and girls this chapter might be a little strange, but just roll with it. It'll be hilarious.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I smirked, the mere thought of the awful hat dying was reason enough to be happy. Maybe I'll get that stupid coat next, it hide's Jiro-nii-san's slim figure. It is a bit feminine which is probably why he hides it, but he would get a ton of people begging to be in a relationship with him if he showed off that nice body that would make even the most straight of men drool. Straight? That's an odd word to describe a man who only likes women, last I checked gay guys weren't bent. Well, except that one guy who was bending over to get his dropped wallet. Oh well, hat first. Coat later.

"So what's the plan this time?" Zara asked me as she took the hideous mound of fabric. I smirked like the cat people think I act like, rubbing my hands together.

"Simple, we need a little help from one of my friends at the farm," I replied with a sadistic giggle. Zara looked at me, a confused look on her face and her head tilted so slightly that it made her resemble a puppy in a way.

"Oooh, are we going to run it over with a combine?" Zara asked me as she jumped excitedly. I sighed before putting my hands on her shoulders and calming her down.

"Nope, I'm sure he'll be of good use though," I said mysteriously. "Watch the hat while I'm gone, and if Jiro-nii-san wakes up tell him that I got hit by a bus, it'll destract him long enough to get my buddy over here."

Zara nodded before saluting me. I corrected the hand she saluted with before making a portal to get my buddy.

* * *

Zara's POV

I looked out the door to see Jiro starting to wake up. Damn, his mind must be pretty strong for it to over power my awesome powers. I whipped up some fake tears and ran up to him before jumping on top of him. Fatty deserved it for eating my chocolate stash, fatty. He groaned with pain before glaring at me with those steally eyes.

"What the hell did you do that for?" He demanded. I gripped his shoulder before cryng into it. He tensed and I could feel it.

"Oh Jiro it's awful! Something terrible happened!" I wailed dramatically. He looked at me with a dead-pan look on his face.

"Let me guess, a squirrel got hit by a truck," Jiro replied sarcastically.

"No worse than that! Bluefire-chan got hit by a bus!" I yelled before cryin some more. He blanched visibly, his bangs covering his eyes, and he trembled a bit. Perfect.

"Is-is she okay?" Jiro asked me in a child-like voice. It trembled like his body, if it weren't a part of the plot and if he wasn't by best friend's brother I would totally hug him and maybe kiss him.

"Nope, she's dead man! DEAD, I mean dead as a doornail. Even deader than Bob Marley," I replied with fake grief. He pulled me into a bone crunching embrace and criedinto my shoulder. His fangs nearly knicked my shoulder, I've seen what happened to Bluefire-chan was bitten by him, and there is no way I'll ever get that close to a climax in my life.

"Wh-why didn't she move? Why damn it!" Jiro yelled to the ceiling.

"She was upset that you were angry with her. She was going to get you a dagger to match your sword and a little kid went out into the street. Bluefire-chan loves kid so she pushed him out of the way and got hit. She died at the impact so she didn't suffer. She told me prior to the accident to tell you that you've always been her favorite brother and that she loves you," I said. Such an awfully morbid lie really. Maybe Bluefire-chan's idea was a bit too much.

"That idiot, she always risks her own life to save others. Now she died again, this time I can't bring her back. Not without completely losing the wonderfully bright and happy sister I love even more than myself, more than chocolate, God even more than Gakupo," Jiro murmured before standing up. He ran off to his room, probably to cry his eyes out or something. Once he left I went back to the garage.

* * *

Teehee, my bud here will get that hat in no time. I looked and noticed Zara walking into the garage, stupid hat in hand and a smile on her face.

"Jiro thinks you're dead so we don't have much time before he comes out here to try and find the accident scene," Zara said. I smiled, and brought in my dear friend.

"A goat, you made me lie to your own brother to get a goat!" Zara yelled. I frowned before petting my goat bud.

"He's not any goat his name's Mike. He likes to eat hats and women's underwear so be careful," I replied. Mike bleated. Zara sighed and tossed him the hat. We both heard the door to Jiro-nii-san's room open so we tore off to hide. Leaving Mike to his work.

* * *

Mike's POV

I sniffed this red thing, it was really ugly. According to the blonde one I'm supposd to eat this trash. I'd much rather clean out her underwear drawer, best tasting undies in the world. So sweet yet savory probably unlike this pile of horse dung. I took a bite of it and found it surprizingly good. So I ate all of it except the bit holding the buckle. Then a man came out and ran up to me. He looked at the bit of cloth I had in my mouth, and looked ready to take it. I beat him to it by ramming him in the place all these human males protect so carefully. I've seen the blonde one hit men in this place so I hit him there too. I bleated victoriously at him before eating the last bit of the hat and leaving the buckle.

* * *

I ran up to my dear brother whom was writhing in pain. He took one look at me and cried harder.

"I thought you were dead Bluefire-chan! How is it that you're standing here perfecly alive when you were hit by a bus!" Jiro-nii-san yelled before trying to rub the pain from his private parts.

"Oh I was hit by a plastic bus, I pretended to be dead. It was a part of a play from a few years ago I was in. Yeah, being the girl that gets hit by a bus is not exactly the part I wanted, but atleast I wasn't the boy that stepped into a minefield!" I replied optomistically.

"Just great, my sister didn't really die and now a stupid goat ate my hat," he said before motioning to Mike, who bleated at him.

"Just wait goat! I'll make stir fry out of you yet!" Jiro-nii-san said angrily to Mike. Mike kicked him in his already bruised man parts, causing my older sibling to yelp in a completely manly way. I sighed before leading Mike back to the portal that lead back to the farm.

"I hate goats," he muttered. I smiled before picking my hurt brother up and kissing his lips. He smiled at me and nuzzled into my shoulder. He was probably hungry now, just great. I'll have to feed him late at night or very early in the morning like maybe eight o' clock. What? I said it was early, just early to my dear brother whom I like to torment and annoy to death. I carried him into his room and laid him down on the bed. He smiled before pulling a hat from underneath his pillow, along with his beloved stuffed panther Panthy. Oh that hat will die or my sanity will be thrown out the window. Atleast whats left of it.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Lol a goat! Yes a serious goat! I figured that a goat would be the perfect thing to get that hat. I guess not seeing as how the hat is back. Stupid hat! Review please and I hope you enjoyed the last chappie. A fat-bellied Jiro is probably a really funny sight.~Bff#3


	7. Wood Chipper 10005

Bluefire-chan had brought Jiro to his room, leaving me outside. I decided to do some quote-on-quote "exploring" in the garage. All there really is in here are soda cans and bubble wrap. I affectionately popped a few hundred sheets of the artificial bubblyness, and moved on further to the back. The mustiness was getting to me and my asthma, so I quickly made an oxygen bubble around my head. And that's when I saw it in the very back of the garage, at the back wall. Not knowing really how to react, I made a mental map of the house and teleported Bluefire to my side.

"–and so next time you get kicked in the nuts by a goat, try not to scream like a little pansy," she said, eyes closed. I was in a pranky mood, so I glomped her. "GYAAAAHHHH! Zara, what was that for? And why am I in the back of the garage?"

"I found something," I said, as innocent as my immortal mind would let me. I ripped off the tarp that was on what I found, and the smells of old gasoline and burning wood filled the air.

"Jiro-nii-san, Zara and I noticed a huge tree branch that's dead. It's going to fall on the house, so we're cutting it off the tree," Bluefire said, monotone, as though she were reading it off note cards... which she was, since I was standing twenty yards away holding large construction paper signs with her cues.

"Ah, okay, Bluefire-chan. Don't get hurt."

"We won't."

I carted the machine into the sunshine, filling its newly installed "infinite-volume" gas tank. I cupped my hands over my mouth, as I did what I think is my FAVORITE trick out of everything a Universe bender can do. I breathed in, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

"CHIPPER OF WOOD. I GIVE YOU POWER. I GIVE YOU LIFE. I GIVE YOU MIND. DESTROY THE RED HAT." The gears kicked to life as I gave it the mental image of Jiro's hat on his bed. Lightning struck, and the large machine started climbing up the wall of the house like a spider, going into Jiro's bedroom through the window.

"WHAT THE CHOCOLATE FU–" Jiro shouted at the top of his lungs. Apparently, he was still in bed as the gears and saw blades tore the hat —and his bed— to shreds. Bluefire-chan and I looked up at his window as he stuck his head out, his hair a rats' nest, his clothes in tatters, some scratches on his skin here and there. We looked up at him and smiled. I even created two halos and the sound of an angelic choir in the background for emphasis. We waved at him teasingly.

Then disaster struck. The wood chipper, done with its duty, literally pushed Jiro out the window and into a flowerbed. The wood chipper then jumped from the window, landing on Jiro's back, and carted itself to the garage, giving me back the life I gave it. Jiro, wracked with pain, picked up a nearby trowel and started digging from his place facedown in the dirt. He got to what he was looking for, and placed the dirt-encrusted hat on his dirt-encrusted head. And by the way, the new hat is the disaster: we couldn't care less about Jiro's well being.

* * *

3BFFs doesn't own Black Blood Brothers. If we did, Jiro wouldn't have that chocolate fudging hat! (That's what Jiro was going to say. What did you think he was going to?"


	8. Hatchet Hatchet Hatchet

**Author's Note : **Kay people, its time for chapter eight. Yay chapter eight!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I stared at the acursed hat, planning its demise. Jiro-nii-san was staring at my neck. Oh great, he looked hungry especially with how dark his eyes were looking.

"When are you getting rid of that necklace," he asked staring at the black band that had the clasp holding my crystal up.

"The same time you get rid of the hat and coat," I replied. He turned away from me and went back to trying and failing in learning how to text. I'd laugh at him, but knowing how hungry he looks it isn't the best idea unless I want to wind up passing out from blood loss.

"What are you staring at?" Jiro-nii-san asked, looking up from the phone's screen to look at me.

"Who are you texting?" I asked.

"Gakupo, he gave me his number last week and I'm trying to text him to see if he wants to go and get lunch with me," he responded. I took the phone from him and looked at his failed text.

"Umm, this says you want him to strip to his underwear and run through the park while proclaiming his love of whip cream," I said as I stared at the text.

"Crap!" Jiro-nii-san took the phone back and quickly dialed the purplette's number to try and stop him from doing anything stupid. I shook my head at him before going to scour the garage to find something cool to play with, like a chainsaw or a weedwhacker. I walked back into the garage and looked at the various gardening implaments; sheers are pretty cool even if they are a little rusty, the spade was awesome for burying people, the hoe was looking very dirty and then I saw it. The most amazing thing in the world, I took it and ran to show Zara.

* * *

I saw she had the door locked and I smirked, time to show off my knowledge of random movies. I chopped a hole into the door.

"Here's Bluey!" I shouted, effectively scaring the slumbering Universe Bender. I could hear her heart slamming in her chest from my position outside the door. She glared at me while she caught her breath.

"You're fixing that," Zara growled. I grinned sheepishly at her and decided to tell her my incidious plan.

* * *

"Oh! I love that Earth movie!" Zara said happily as I finished explaining my plan and my dramatic entrance.

"I was planning on scaring my older brother with this, but he'd probably drink me dry if I did. That and I know very well that scaring Kotaro is off limits," I sighed as I polished the hatchet's head. I'm a vampire so I can do this without cutting myself, but don't try this at home kids it's still pretty dangerous.

"What's he doing right now?" Zara asked.

"Who Jiro-nii-san? He's probably talking to Gakupo and trying to explain his error in texting," I answered.

"Perfect!" Zara shouted as she ran off to get dressed. I sighed, she was only three years younger than me and yet she had more energy than I did in my entire body. If I could harness that energy maybe the world wouldn't be spending zillions of dollars on energy bills.

* * *

I peered through the window, Jiro-nii-san still yammering on like an idiot, perfect. I hid the hatchet behind my back and Zara opened the door. As we did, Jiro-nii-san hung up.

"What are you two up to?" He asked, looking at us critically. His intense stare reminded me of a detective questioning the prime suspect in a murder case.

"Nothing. We're just doing a school project on how well someone can survive daily life without using their hands," I replied. My skills in deception are getting better, thanks to lessons from Zelman Clock.

"I heard from Zelman that the two of you have been spending alot of time together. You shouldn't spend so much time around that psycopath, he'll influence you negatively," Jiro-nii-san said sternly. Crap! He must be a mind reader or something!

"Just because the two of you can't get along that doesn't mean you can tell me not to spend time with him. He actually listens to me and treats me like an adult, unlike you," I replied coldly. Jiro-nii-san lept up to try and take me down, but I used the eye raid on him. I also used the hide hand to lower him to the ground and move him in front of me.

"Kneel," I commanded. Jiro-nii-san did just that, his eyes shining with the characteristic blue that came with being controlled by the eye raid. I tilted his head up so his eyes would meet mine and my control over him could be at its strongest.

"Go out and buy some candy knave," I dictated.

"I will go out and buy some candy," he replied in a hypnotized voice. His eyes are half lidded now, meaning he is no better than a puppet right now.

"You will not remember having the eye raid being used on you," I commanded.

"I will not remember having the eye raid being used on me," he parroted back, his voice slow and emotionless. I smirked before pushing him back, snapping him out of his stupor. He got up and ran out to buy candy, leaving the two of us to our own devices.

* * *

**Jiro's POV**

As I ran to buy candy for some odd reason, I felt tired and my mind was fuzzy. I have no recollection of falling onto the ground nor this urge to buy candy. All I remember is rage towards Bluefire-chan, leaping up to go punish her and then nothing. Its as though my mind and body blacked out for a few minutes. I paused in my running and silenced my mind, tapping into Bluefire-chan's mind. That's when the answers I needed came to me, that little bitch! She used the eye raid even though I told her not to! I turned and ran back towards home, she needed to be dealt with.

* * *

**Normal POV (Bluefire's POV)**

As planned Jiro-nii-san tapped into my mind and was rushing home to scold me. I smirked and decided to mess with him a little, with our trap set up a few minutes early I was free to send mental images to my brother telepathically. I thought of the most forever to be burned into your mind images that are too horrific to write about images ever and listened to my older brother's shrieks of fury and pain. By the time he was home he was burning with rage, his eyes were almost black and were narrow slits. His fangs were elongated and his breathing was heavy, his leather gloves were protesting from the strain of his clenched fists. He stormed to his room and opened the door, triggering the hatchet to fall and chop the hat off of his head. It crumbled to dust leaving behind his stuffed animal Panthy and a chocolate bar. He reached up and yanked me down from my perch ontop of his door. He held me up by my wrist and I grinned sheepishly at him, hoping that would keep him from doing anything drastic. He noticed Zara trying to flee and used the hide hand to levitate her over.

"Now which one to drink from first," Jiro-nii-san said darkly. He looked at us with icy and heartless eyes, trying to decide which one of us would be tastier.

"On one hand I know how delectable Bluefire-chan tastes, but on the other hand I have no idea how good Zara-chan tastes," he deliberated as he dragged the two of us to the kitchen. By then Zara was scared out of her mind and looked close to wetting herself. I on the other hand was a bit calmer, but was still pretty frightened. I've only seen this side of my brother once and it was when he was a year younger than me and it was when he was protecting me from a bunch of older kids. He glanced between us and he tossed me to his bed. He finished elongating his fangs and smirked at the fear in Zara's eyes. He moved her head to the side and got a better angle of her neck. She shut her eyes and just as she thought he was going to bite her he pulled away and started laughing merrily at her. Zara glared at him and kicked his head. Jiro-nii-san fell back, not moving for a few moments until we saw that he reached under a lamp and pulled out a new hat. Zara managed to slip past him, but I wasn't so lucky. He managed to stand up and drag me back to the creepy sanctuary of his room. I gulped, I knew my neck would be sore after he was finished eating.

* * *

Hours later, I met up with Zara in Zelman's basement. This time the Crimson-eyed Butcher was with her and he chuckled at how rediculous I looked. My hair was a complete mess and the entire right side of my neck was purple.

"What happened to you?" Zelman asked, mirth very clear in his voice. I glared at him and sat down at our meeting table.

"My brother, that's what happened," I replied, feeling annoyed and cranky. Great, now I needed a snack and our handsome host was looking delicious in more ways than one. Zara patted me on the shoulder and smiled at me. She was looking pretty tasty as well.

"Bluefire-chan! We got a brand new idea to try!" Zara cheered, before I lept across the table and sank my fangs into Zelman's neck.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Don't worry, Bluefire-chan and Zelman have this bond where they often drink blood from eachother when they get extremely hungry. Review and beware of a scary and hungry Jiro. He could be anywhere.~Bff#3


	9. Feuer CRACKAHS

We walked back to Jiro's house. With a snap of my fingers, I had set up the traps. Zelman went ahead and knocked on the door, and ran back to the end of the sidewalk. It was going to get real... I think I said that right.

"What now?" Jiro asked as he stepped out onto the porch. Bluefire-chan jumped up from her place on the concrete.

"Happy happy birthday-"

"From all of us to you!" I chimed in.

"We wish it was our birthday, so we could party, too! Hey!" Zelman gave it the big finish, with jazz hands and everything. Jiro just stared.

"What the chocolate fudge?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's your birthday!" I exclaimed as I pointed at a giant chocolate cake which I just poofed up out of nowhere. "I guess we'll have to take the cake somewhere else..."

"I want it!" Jiro screamed as he stage-dived into the giant dessert, his hat falling off onto the lawn in the process.

"Now Zelman!" Bluefire shouted, pointing at him. Snapping his fingers, he set a flame down onto the thin fuse which led to the front yard towards the hat.

"...What are you doing..?" Jiro slowly asked, looking up with his icing covered face. His eyes followed the sparks to his hat. He tried to get up, but lucky me, Bluefire-chan requested beforehand to make the cake chocolate and LARD. Jiro fell back down, clenching his stomach, watching the demise of his hat.

The firecrackers we had set up in the grass... apparently didn't work out so well. We had put them too close to the house... and it set fire to the kitchen. Luckily, nobody living was harmed, but Lord Bowwow and my last gallon of SunMilk didn't make it. After the fire, however... Jiro beat the crap out of Bluefire-chan and me...

"At least the hat is gone," I say, rubbing my cuts and bruises to make them fade. I look over at Bluefire, who is beat up worse than me. Jiro walks in, wearing yet another hat, and I say loudly, "Princesses don't deserve this kind of treatment!" He looks over at us.

"Who's a princess? All I see is my sister and her idiot friend." I start fuming, my eyes turning completely red. Flames start spitting from my mouth, and I make myself larger than the black blood.

"THOU CALLETH ME AN IDIOT? I SHALL DESTROYITH YOU! HOW DARE YOU INSULT PRINCESS ZARA ANKORO OF THE SECOND SUN WITH YOUR EARTH TONGUE!"

"I take it that you're the princess. Got it." Jiro stuttered, backing out of the kitchen. I grab him and start banging him against the wall. It takes Bluefire, Zelman, Cain, Cassa, Kotaro, and Rinsuke after four hours to calm me down. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Jiro cries and wimpers like a little girl.

"Oh. Okay. Apology accepted!" I smile, taking the cookie jar and walking out the back door.

* * *

3BFFs doesn't own anything. Review, or feel Zara's royal wrath!

Jiro: More like royal pain...

Zara: WHAT?!

Jiro: Oh, nothing... Nothing, just backing away now!

Zara: Oh, okay! Teehee! :)


	10. Burn Baby Burn!

**Author's Note : **Kay people, its time for chapter ten. Yay chapter ten!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

After a month or so I was busy looking through a catalogue, a weapon catalogue to be exact. I was busy circling everything I wanted with a red sharpie when I saw it. A flamethrower that came in blue! My lucky day and I had enough cash from my job as a doctor to buy it. I decided to drag Zara along with me just incase she wanted anything like a pistol or a box of land mines. I passed by Jiro-nii-san who was busy making out with Gakupo on the couch.

"Get a room you two," I call as I pass by them. They break off and are both blushing, though Gakupo looks way cuter than Jiro-nii-san does by a mile.

"Sh-shut up! We can make out wherever we want to right Gaky," Jiro-nii-san said before turning to his beet red lover.

"Um, we were being a little inconsiderate seeing as how somebody else could have wanted to use the living room but we were taking up the entire couch so they couldn't use it," Gakupo said in a soft voice that reminded me of the pegasis Fluttershy from My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic. Now that I think about it Gakupo is alot like Fluttershy in general.

"Very well Gaky, we shall take our make out session elsewhere," Jiro-nii-san said before standing up and dragging Gakupo to his room. Gakupo waved to me before dissappearing to the evil place of my older brother's room. Poor guy, I doubt he'll be a virgin by the time he leaves today.

* * *

"So Bluefire-chan where are we going?" Zara asked as she walked beside me.

"To my favorite store in the world," I replied as I stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"Gamestop? Oh no wait Hot Topic!" Zara said excitedly. I sighed before showing her Guns R Us.

"This here is Guns R Us. The best place to get weaponry and tanks on Earth," I said before leading her to the door. Just before I got to it some man stopped me.

"Hold it kid, you gotta be eighteen to get in," he said with one of those tough guy accents. He was a good foot and three quarter inches taller than me, but I have taken out bigger.

"I am eighteen jackass, I've got a driver's licence and everything," I replied as I showed him my adult driver's license.

"Yeah right kid! Now take your little sister here and go back to junior high where you belong," he snapped before shoving me back. I landed on my backside and rubbed it as I stood up. I took Zara's hand before rushing to the alley near by.

* * *

"What are we going to do? That guy won't let us in," Zara sighed as she sat on top of the trashcan lid I cleaned off for her.

"Don't worry Zara, I can get us in," I said. Zara tilted her head in confusion as she stared at me. I took a black cloak out of my bag and put it on.

"Oh powers of time as the guardian and caretaker of Dialga and the Blue Mew I command you to grant me control over time!" I shouted to the sky before my hands glowed a deep blue color.

"Age me up to twenty five!" I called before a white light flooded the alley. When it faded Zara stared in awe. I summoned up a mirror and smirked as I stared at my now smoking hot bod. With this form I can easily pass for eighteen. I snapped my fingers and my outfit changed into a low cut black tee-shirt and a short red mini-skirt with some black stiletos. I untied my long hair and threw it into a sloppy bun.

"Come on Zara-chan, we have some shopping to do," I said before leading my confused friend to the gun store.

* * *

The man stared at me and drooled as I passed by him.

"Don't worry handsome, she's with me," I said as I walked past him. Inside the store I gagged before letting Zara wander off while I went to pick out my flamethrower.

* * *

As I walked to the aisle I heard a familiar voice. I turned and swore under my breath for a few feet away from me was my magic instructor Arthur Kirkland aka England and my good friend Alfred F Jones aka America. I turned away from them and rushed to pick out my flamethrower. I walked up to my desired flamethrower and picked it up, a little light for what I wanted to use it for, but alteast it came in the color I wanted.

"Hey cutie! What's a smokin hot babe like you doin in a place like this?" I heard from behind me.

'Oh shit! Its Alfred!' I thought before turning to face him.

"I was looking for a gift for my cousin Grant and thought I'd see if they had something for an adventurous girl like me," I replied, avoiding Arthur's brilliant green eyes and focusing on Alfred's blue eyes that were a touch darker than my own eyes.

"Sweet! Hey Artie I think I found a nice chick for ya!" Alfred said as he nudged Arhtur's shoulder.

"Alfred how many times have I told you not to try and find me dates in weaponry stores!" Arthur snapped before turning to face me.

"My appologies miss, but there's something familiar about you," he said as he looked into my eyes.

'Okay Bluefire, keep calm. Don't show any fear, he'll recognize you,' I thought as I looked into the Brit's emerald eyes.

"Hey Bluefire! Did you know they sold lawn gnome shaped bombs here?" I heard Zara call.

"Bluefire?!" I backed away from the angry blonde and smiled sheepishly at him.

"Hey Artie, how's Flying Mint Bunny?" I asked, trying to distract Arthur. He glared angrily at me before Alfred held him back.

"Run!" Alfred yelled before I took Zara's hand and led her to the checkout area. The line was super long and I knew Alfred couldn't hold Arthur forever. I saw an enraged Arthur running towards us and got an idea.

"Help! A rapist is trying to hurt me!" I cried as I pointed at Arthur. All the guys ahead of us ran to stop Arthur, clearing the line and distracting the Brit. I paid for my flamethrower and a couple lawn gnome bombs and ran out of the store.

* * *

Before I made it home I ran into the alley and changed myself back to eighteen.

"Say Bluefire, can you use those time powers on anybody?" Zara asked as we walked back to my house.

"Yeah, but only if I know what they look like at the age I want them to be," I replied.

"Do you know how Jiro looked when he was say, sixteen?" Zara questioned.

"What are you suggesting?" I asked as I looked at Zara.

"Why don't make Jiro sixteen so we can destroy his hat and he won't even remember having it or he'll hate the hat and destroy it with us," Zara said as she made it to the door.

"Cool! Then he'd like anime again!" I cheered before openig the door.

* * *

I peered into the room and saw Gakupo sleeping on top of Jiro-nii-san, both looking very peaceful. I had Zara make some ear-muffs and put them on Gakupo and Jiro-nii-san.

"Oh powers of time age my brother Jiro to sixteen!" I called to the sky. The white light returned and once it faded my dear older brother was now two years younger than me. I pulled him out from under Gakupo and woke my new younger brother up. He yawned and smiled when he saw me.

"Hey Bluefire-chan, what's up?" He asked as he looked at me.

"Well my dear brother, there's this ugly hat on your head and we need to burn it because it'll steal your soul," I replied. Jiro-nii-san took the hat off his head and made a disgusted face when he saw it.

"God this thing is ugly, let me help you get rid of it," he replied as he haded the hat to me. We all ran outside to go burn the hat.

* * *

We put the hat onto a treestump and backed away from it. I aimed at the hat before pulling the trigger, torching the hat and leaving a pile of ashes on the slightly charred stump. I turned around to find my now younger brother kissing Zara and from the looks of it, really enjoying it. I pulled the two apart with a dead-pan face on. I tapped Jiro-nii-san's head and he turned back to normal.

"What happened?" He asked, slightly dizzy. I smirked and pointed to the pile of ashes.

"My hat!" He cried before looking angrily at me. I noticed that Arthur was rushing me from behind and I grabbed the Brit's arm and threw him at Jiro-nii-san. Their lips crashing together and Arthur landing on top of my shocked older brother. I slung Zara onto my shoulder and ran off to hide in Rinsuke's office.

* * *

"So the hat is gone?" Rinsuke asked before taking a bite out of one of the cookies I made.

"Yeah, but I have a feeling it might return," I replied before taking a swig of Coke. Zara sighed dreamily as she touched her lips.

"Mmmm~ I want another taste of Jiro's lips," Zara said happily before drinking some sun tea. Rinsuke pouted because he has yet to taste Jiro's lips. I just sighed, just great. My best friend has a crush on my older brother.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So~ How did you like Arthur, Alfred, and Gakupo's appearances? Lets face it people, Gakupo would make a really cute Fluttershy. I made Arthur Bluefire's magic instructor because at the time Bluefire learned she could do magic Arthur was accepting students. He was angry because time magic is forbidden and Arthur has yet to master time spells. Review for some more Hetalia characters~Bff#3


	11. FUS ROH DAH

After the ten hours of this thing Earthlings call "me-tube" which Bluefire-chan forced upon me to try to get my mind off... things... I grabbed a conveniently placed crossbow and quiver filled with arrows.

"I knoww wwhat ii MU2T DO!" I said, my speech changing into a random slur of typing quirks from Homestuck. I flipped the table which Rinsuke and Bluefire were playing poker at, and jumped through the window, glass shattering around me. "FUS ROH DAH!" I shouted up at them, and I ran off.

"What was that all about?" Rinsuke asked, puzzled.

"I'm not sure, but one thing's for sure: how did that stuff get into my playlist on YouTube?" Bluefire replied.

* * *

"LEROY... JENKINS!"

"Ah, hello Zara," Jiro said. He then cowered, "Please don't hurt me!"

"You were once a fine, fine vampire, Silver Blade. You were the good guy. But then," I paused, reaching into the quiver, "You took an ARROW to the HAT!" I said, pulling all the arrows at once from their place, quickly aiming, and launching them all in the general direction of the hat. I heard Jiro scream like, as Bluefire-chan put it, a little pansy as he tried to run away from the onslaught of arrows. I bent the air around them, and they went directly through his hat, leaving a large hole.

"Zara, why would you do such a thing?!" he cried, holding his mutilated hat.

"I don't know what you're referring to," I replied, referencing Llamas With Hats. Jiro growled. I shoosh-papped him. "Shooosshhhhh. You hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness."

"No, that's the sound of me saying GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"See? That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming, and then silence." I walked away, waving my hands to go along with the music in my mind... "WHAT NOW?!"

* * *

3BFFs does not own Black Blood Brothers, Homestuck, Avatar the Last Airbender, or any of the memes here.


	12. Pretty Flowers and Pokemon

**Author's Note : **Huzzah! Chapter 12! Huzzah!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I sighed as I wiped some sweat off of my forehead, yard work is difficult when the sun's harsh rays are slowly burning you alive. I had successfully tilled an area in the shape of a Piplup and smiled as I planned the color scheme for it. I glanced up to the roof and saw Jiro-nii-san busy spraying water into the gutters. I smirked and jumped up to him, landing beside him.

"Hi Jiro-nii-san!" I exclaimed really close to my brother's ear. He jumped and fell of the roof, leaving the hat on the roof. I smiled and took the hat, leaving my brother groaning in pain because he probably hurt something in his back.

* * *

I smiled as Gakupo skipped up to the greenhouse, a bag of potting soil and some pretty hybiscus flowers in pots. I pulled out some paint in the colors of the hat.

"So what are we doing exactly?" The Vocaloid asked, his head tilted in confusion.

"We are giving this ugly hat a better purpose," I replied the hat in hand.

"Are you sure Jiro-san is okay with this?"

"Yup, he told me to get rid of the hat. He said that he hated it."

"Oh, okay!"

Oh Gakupo, if only you knew how naive you are.

* * *

By the time we finished setting the pots and the hat up Jiro-nii-san walked or well hobled up to us. He had broken his right leg and was using a pair of crutches to help him move.

"Hi Jiro-san! Look at our beautiful flowers!" Gakupo said cheerfully as he stood aside to show him our handy work.

"Wow, these are really pretty," Jiro-nii-san said as he moved over to Gakupo's side. Gakupo felt Jiro-nii-san's upper arm and smiled.

"Your arms are really toned Jiro-san," Gakupo complemented before kissing my dear brother's cheek. Said brother froze, I knew he saw it. His precious hat filled with potting soil and a red hybiscus plant occupying it.

"Here you go brother dearest," I said cheerfully as I handed him Panthy and a handful of chocolate kisses. Jiro-nii-san just stayed frozen, mouth agape and his eyes wide with shock. I think this is possibly the most derpy face I have ever seen so I quickly took a picture of it and ran as I heard Gakupo scream.

* * *

I sighed as I entered the official base of our hat destroying group aka Zelman's basement. It has been converted into a comfy lounge for the purpose of our planning and comfort.

"So how did it go?" Zara asked from her seat on the dark blue couch, a box of chocolate pocky in her hand.

"Fine I guess, but Gakupo's getting totally raped right now," I replied as I plopped down onto the loveseat.

"I wish I was getting raped by Jiro," Rinsuke sighed from his seat in the red bean-bag chair, a purple DS in his hands.

"Dude you've gotta get a hobby and no playing Animal Crossing doesn't count," I said as I whipped out my blue DS. I popped in Pokemon Heart Gold and started reliving my childhood.

"Animal Crossing is so a hobby!" Rinsuke snapped as he continued playing the game meant for young girls. "At least it's better than Gakupo's addiction to Cooking Mama!"

"He only plays it because he can't cook well in real life. He either burns or barely cooks anything on top of a stove," I replied as I continued handing Zara's butt to her in our Pokemon battle. "My teacher Arthur plays Cooking Mama as well, but his cooking can kill somebody."

"How are you beating me!?" Zara snapped from her seat on the couch.

"I've had years of practice and my older brother is a secret Pokemon addict," I called as my Megainum hammered away at her Azumarill's health. Just then Gakupo stumbled in, a very pained look on his face. With each step he winced in pain, hissing underneath his breath. He managed to make it to the couch and he fell face first onto it.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as my attention was drawn to the battle.

"I feel awful and possibly pregnant," Gakupo moaned as he turned his head to face me.

"I suggest naming the first Francisco, the second Bella, and the third James," I said as I patted the seat next to me. Gakupo sighed and sat down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Which one are you?" He asked as he stared at my screen.

"I'm the one with the crow looking one and Zara's the one with the giant rhinosaurus beetle." I replied as I used Peck on my bug-type foe.

"Isn't there a cute yellow one with red cheeks?" He asked, looking at me with those dark blue eyes.

"Yes, but he's not out right now," I answered as I almost finished off Zara's Heracross. I switched out to Pikachu and smiled as I watched Gakupo's eyes light up.

"He's the only one I really know about, but I really don't much aout this game," Gakupo said as his attention stayed on the electric mouse Pokemon.

"Hey Zara! You mind making a copy of Pokemon Yellow and a Gameboy color so we can start Gakupo's esposure to Pokemon right!" I called from about two feet away.

"Fine, but when he gets to Diamond he's fair game!" Zara replied as she made a working copy of Pokemon Yellow and a purple Gameboy color. She tossed it to me and I handed it over to the excited purplette. He put the cartridge in and began his very first Pokemon journey.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hey reader dudes and dudettes! Remember to submit ideas to destroy the hat, even if we already have it on the list it will still be acknowledged. Review for some more awesome Pokemon stuff~Bff#3


	13. Run, Forrest! I mean, Jiro! Run!

I pulled off my headphones, smirking at my newest plan as I poofed up some cosplay for Bluefire and me. Getting mine on, I transported the other outfit right onto my unsuspecting friend, who is out visiting Miku.

* * *

"Ah, Rin? Where did Bluefire-chan go?" Miku asked, as she looked around.

"Huh? It's me, sis! Bluefire! I have no idea where these clothes came from, though... wait a minute... ZA-" I poofed her out of the scene.

* * *

"-RA! I hate it when you do stuff like that! I was at a family reunion!"

"But it couldn't wait! Earlier this morning, I saw a human delivery truck person hand a suspicious package to Jiro!" I cried, cuter because of my Len cosplay.

"So?"

"I used my X-Ray vision, and saw it was a brand new hat!" I screamed, my voice shattering windows on the whole street.

"And so you had to put cosplay on me long distance and take me away from my family reunion for this?" I nodded. "Couldn't it have waited?" I shook my head.

"And you haven't seen the most amazing thing yet!" I pulled the random floating curtain which was behind me, and Bluefire gasped.

* * *

"I love you, Gaky," Jiro whispered. Jiro and Gakupo were in lawn chairs on the back porch when suddenly the ground shook and a shadow loomed over them. Turning around, Gakupo screamed like a little girl.

"Run, Jiro, run!" He cried. Jiro turned around and saw us with a big fat yellow road roller. He started running, clutching onto his stupid hat.

"Get back here, you!" Bluefire-chan shouted from her place on top of the machine. I was driving, unlicensed, of course. But you don't need a license to drive a sandwich... er, road roller. So I'm driving, but the very few times I've driven something, I've crashed. At least in Mario Kart Wii, but I'm honestly terrified of driving. We don't have cars on the Sun, just Sun Horse drawn carriages... with air conditioning... and technology... So I'm really cautious, because I don't want to run over passersby, but all of a sudden, Bluefire-chan screams, "Drive faster! We're losing him!" I panic, and step on the gas, flooring it. I have to quickly poof up a support rail for the roof rider to hold onto, because otherwise she would've fallen off. "Now that's more like it!" she screams. Jiro also screams, for we're catching up to him. I can feel the adrenaline pumping.

"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahaha!" I laugh, making the roller go into overdrive. Jiro suddenly takes his hat off and flings it toward us. He jumps out of the way, landing painfully on his face. The hat is flattened, the deed is done. I stop the roller by quickly going in park and taking the key out. The hat is still underneath the front wheel, so I transport the key to my safe box on the Sun... However, it is made of a bad metal, and will melt in half a second. Jiro will never be able to retrieve this hat!

* * *

3BFFs doesn't own Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Vocaloid, the SpongeBob Movie reference, Mario Kart Wii, or Forrest Gump.

Review, please, or Zara will send you to the Sun!


	14. Baby Drool and a Surprize

**Author's Note : **Chapter 14 is ready baby! Time to get this show on the road.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

"Okay you three wave bye bye to Mommy and Daddy," I said sweetly to the three infants in my arms. They complied easily, the little girl reaching out for her mother.

"Noooo! I don't wanna leave my little ones! Especially little Bella Boo!" Gakupo cried as Jiro-nii-san started dragging him towards their car.

"Too bad! We've been planning this evening out since last week and I don't wanna miss it because you miss the kids!" He snapped as he shoved the purplette into the car.

"Don't worry Francisco, Bella, and James will be perfectly safe and sound," I reassured my suspicious brother. "Besides, Sebastian and Kanda will be comming over with Alfred and Yuuna so they have playmates." My hatless brother nodded before going into the car and slamming the door before the young Vocaloid could escape. I simply waved as they left, and waited until their car turned the corner before entering the house.

* * *

"Okay you three, time to play with Daddy's hat!" I said cheerfully at my niece and nephews. Francisco and Bella both started chewing on the hat while James fell asleep next to his stuffed tiger. I smiled, little James reminded me of Jiro-nii-san so much. Francisco looked identical to Gakupo except his eyes were gray, James had his Daddy Jiro's hair while he had his Mommy Gakupo's dark blue eyes, and little Bella was the cutest of all. She had black hair on the top with purple underneath it and she had one dark blue eye and one gray eye. Cutest baby girl ever, and they picked the perfect time to start teething too. Well, except James of course, he constantly took naps and read with Daddy Jiro. Just then the door opened, stepping in was none other than Sebastian Michaelis and Kanda Yuu, aka by older brother's best friends in the entire universe.

"Hi Bluefire-chan~ I didn't know you'd be here," Sebastian said cheerfully as he walked over with baby Alfred in his arms. The babe really did look like Sebastian and Yuuna did look alot like Kanda. Upon hearing Yuuna's giggle James woke up and reached out to her. Yuuna did the same to James and with a sigh Kanda set Yuuna down next to James. The two proceeded to make baby talk with eachother while Sebastian set Alfred down by Francisco and Bella. Alfred also took to chewing on the hat with them, his redish brown eyes twinkling with excitement.

* * *

After an hour of chatting with Sebastian I decided to spend some quality time with my old buddy Kanda. Now I know you all think he's a major ass to everyone and everything, but he's actually nice to me, ever since I comforted him when he was six years old, even if I was only one at the time I sorta remember it and Kanda has made sure to be nice to me when nobody's around to see it. Even going as far as making it snow on my birthday by using a woodchipper and about thirty tons of ice.

I entered my dear older brother's bedroom to find Kanda there eating a little chocolate, upon noticing me he quickly hid the sweet behind his back and started blushing a deep red color.

"I wasn't eating anything," Kanda said nervously.

"I never said you were Kanda," I replied, I had him cornered.

"Che, if you tell anybody I'll be sure to skin you alive," he threatened, pointing Mugen at my throat.

"You'll have to wait in line, once Jiro-nii-san sees his hat I'll be skinned in like five seconds," I said before turning to leave. Jut then I heard a familiar scream. Kanda and I rushed in and saw my dear older brother standing there shocked, but it wasn't over the slobbery hat. Nope he was screaming about little James kissing Yuuna on the lips. I took a few pictures and thought of how cute they looked. My brother looked at me with fury in his eyes, Kanda had the same look. I ran and climbed up a really high tree where I am currently typing this. Kanda and Jiro-nii-san are still down there, ready to kill me, send help please.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

The babies are also my own creation so do not use them without permission. I came up with these two couples having kids when writing a fanfic with Bff#1. Review for some more adorableness.~Bff#3

P.S. If you review you can hug your choice of Kanda or Jiro~


	15. Uhoh! I Made Boom Boom!

Because Bluefire-chan (unknowingly) and I once did a brain transfer, there is still part of my brain in her head and her brain in mine. Sometimes I hear her thinking, but she can't do anything about it, and she can't read mine until she finds out about the transfer... which I'm never telling her that I did.

_-__high tree where I am currently typing this. Kanda and Jiro-nii-san are still down there, ready to kill me, send help please._ So she's in a tree. I quickly transport myself back to Earth from my large bedchamber on the Sun.

"Get down here, Bluefire-chan!" Jiro shouted.

"I'm never coming down! I have everything I need up here!"

"Hey, guys! What happened?" I sneak up on the two angry parents.

"You! You're in on this!" Kanda drew his sword, but Jiro held him back.

"I wouldn't attack her if I were you," Jiro said. "She gets very terrifying-" I glare at him, my eyes starting to flame. "Cute! Beautiful, I mean!" He bows down. "Don't hurt me, Princess!" I smirk, walking by.

"Very well, Silver Blade. I shall not harm you. Just let my friend down from the tree." Bluefire jumps down from her perch, cradling her laptop.

"Thanks, Zara," she said, quickly pulling me into the house.

* * *

"Ah, so this is what your bedroom looks like. Amazing!" I look around at all the Kingdom Hearts, Pokémon, and other stuff in the room.

"Focus, Zara. Our hat destroying legacy is downstairs. Three of them already chewed one of my brother's hats. Two left to go." Suddenly, a stench wafted up through the floor.

"Bluefire-chan! Can you help us? James and Yuuna... made boom-boom!" Jiro and Kanda shouted up to us.

"We're out of diapers, too..." Gakupo and Sebastian followed, wearily. Bluefire smirked.

* * *

"Aw, what cute Earth children!" I squeaked. My cry was high pitched enough that dolphins could hear. In fact, they did, and all four parents were carried off by a large pod of dolphins, which had crashed through the window. Bluefire just stood there. "Good timing," I said. All that was left was Jiro's hat, which I cut apart and sewed together, creating two cloth diapers. You probably know where this is going.

* * *

When everybody found their way back from Sea World, Jiro screamed at the top of his lungs, but Bluefire and I hushed him, saying he'll wake the babies. So he just went up to his room and got really mad: we could hear him from the living room. I think he broke a lamp or two...

* * *

3BFFs does not own Black Blood Brothers, Avatar The Last Airbender, Vocaloid, D Grey Man, Black Butler, or Sea World. We wish we owned any of the above, but we don't. All we have now are two full hat-diapers... Ew...


	16. Seven Days

**Author's Note : **Time for Chapter 16, at least it didn't take seven days to write.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I smiled as my turn came, he he he. My turn to pick a movie. Ever since Gakupo, Sebastian, and Kanda decided to stick around and stay close we had movie nights. One half was children's movies, this night was the first Pokemon movie, and the second half is a choice of some one who's eighteen or older. Since I was the most recent to turn eighteen I got to pick the movie we watched. I had to keep in mind that Zara was only fifteen and Gakupo doesn't really like scary movies. That's when it hit me. I'll put in that one Scary Movie that mocks The Ring. Okay I only saw a tiny bit of it so the only reason I know it mocks the rig is because I kept hearing seven days, and surprizingly a week later I woke up with a knife in my forehead. It didn't hurt, but it was annoying because Jiro-nii-san went off into crazy over-protective brother mode and yelled at me for playing with knives. Heck to him, I can play with knives if I wanted to. He gets to play with a sword that could easily decapititate him. I popped the DVD in and pressed play.

"Let me guess, it's an American movie," Cain said from behind me.

"Yeah it is, deal with it. You guys can watch Japanese movies twenty four seven here while I'm stuck watching what I want on DVDs," I replied before swiping the popcorn from him.

"Is it a scary movie?" Gakupo asked, his eyes looking frightened.

"Kinda, it's more stupid then scary," I answered, hoping that it would alleviate the poor man's fears.

* * *

As the movie progressed I noticed that Jiro-nii-san glared at me whenever an innopropreate part of the movie came on, thus making him practically smorther Kotaro's head to keep him from seeing or hearing it. I felt half tempted to say what's the point seeing as how my dear older brother curses in front of the "impressionable" child. It said PG on the box so I figured it would be okay, but no. Mr. I need to protect my brother's innocence keeps making me feel like an ass. I'll show him, that hat will die in seven days.

* * *

Later that night, I got tired of hearing Gakupo and Jiro-nii-san try to make a baby without wanting a baby so I decided t put my plan into action. Luckily I "Borrowed" Rinsuke's phone. I called Jiro-nii-san's number and waited.

"_Hello?_" I heard from the other line.

"Seven Days," I said, in a deep and masculine voice.

_"Nice try Rinsuke, but I know its you,"_ Jiro-nii-san replied before hanging up. That idiot, Rinsuke skipped out this movie night because he had a twenty four hour flu.

* * *

The next day I decided to go to work with my dear brother just to hear his reaction to that call. I slipped away and handed Rinsuke back his phone. He looked alot better than when I visited him yesterday, but he still looked a little weak.

"Rinsuke, I need to talk to you," Jiro-nii-san said as he entered the room.

"What is it Jiro Darling?" Rinsuke asked, looking very cute.

"Did you happen to call me last night?" Jiro-nii-san asked, looking at him with a serious look in his eyes.

"No, I was sleeping last night," Rinsuke replied.

"Then why did I get a call from your phone saying 'Seven Days'," Jiro-nii-san said, showing him the phone number.

"Um, hate to tell you this, but that isn't my number Jiro Darling," Rinsuke pointed out. Jiro-nii-san looked at the phone, horrified as the number was all sixes. I mentally snickered, my technology skills have improved since I last tinkered with a phone. Jiro-nii-san's face paled and he started trembling. I knew how frightened he gets whenever demons are involved, surprizing since Sebastian is a demon.

"Why don't we wait and see if they call you again?" I suggested. The two men looked at me, both with fear in their eyes.

"B-but of course, it was probably a wrong number," Jiro-nii-san replied, sounding nervous. Just then his phone rang, the same number as on his phone. He hesitantly answered it.

"H-hello?" He asked as he held the phone up to his ear.

_"Six Days," _the voice on the other line said, perfectly matching the one I used last night. Oh Sebastian, I owe you one.

"Who ever this is this isn't funny," Jiro-nii-san said, with a little anger in his voice before hanging up the phone.

"What does it mean 'Six Days'?" My dear brother asked, looking scared for this is the second call he recieved.

"Well based on my scary movie knowledge its the amount of time left you have until you die," I replied. Jiro-nii-san shrieked in horror.

"You mean I'm going to die in six days!?" He yelled, looking completely freaked out. I nodded solemly, playing my part perfectly. "Is there any way I can live longer?"

"I'm afraid not, once these six days are up you're going to get killed," I replied. He then looked down at his feet, not bringing his gaze to meet mine or Rinsuke's. Rinsuke ran up to Jiro and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips. He pulled away, smiling.

"There, now you don't have to die without kissing me," he said before skipping off to go find a snack or something. I took my brother's hand and led him out the door.

"Where are we going?" He asked, his voice a little more curious than sad.

"Well, if you're going to die in six days we need to make these six days count," I replied before shoving him through a portal I made.

* * *

Jiro's POV

I stood there, looking down at what could possibly kill me before my six days are up.

"Come on Jiro-nii-san, a two year old isn't afraid of this," I heard Bluefire say from behind me.

"Well a two year old doesn't have to worry about falling apart when he hits the water," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. She looked annoyed with me and she took a swig of something. She grabbed me by my upper arms and kissed me. She forced my mouth open and force fed me the liquid she had earlier. Once I swallowed all of it she broke off, a satisfied smirk on her face. Before I could even ask what she gave me she shoved me down the water slide I was in front of, going down backwards wasn't fun at all. Once I reached the bottom I wound up flipping over onto my stomach, marks from the slide on my back. I was barely able to push myself up when Bluefire-chan landed on my back. God she was getting heavy, I blame it on her addiction to Pocky.

"Come on you old man, we've got three hours to spend here and we need to make it count," Bluefire said as she pulled me up. I was about to stop her when I realized I didn't feel pain when I landed in the three inches of water at the bottom of the slide, in fact I didn't feel a burning sensation when I went down the slide either. It felt odd to see water droplettes drip down my skin, such a sight has been lost to me for decades now. I simply allowed her to drag me wherever it was she wanted to go, I just followed her along like a dog being led on a leash.

* * *

Third Person POV

The two siblings made their way to a pair of waterslides, mats supplied at the bottom of it. Bluefire took one and handed it to Jiro before she took another one for herself.

"What are these for?" Jiro asked, looking confused as he held the strange looking mat.

"Its for these slides. We use these to race eachother down to the bottom," Bluefire replied before she took a hold of Jiro's hand. He let her guide him to the very long stair case before she let go of him. Jiro took Bluefire's mat for her and locked arms with her.

"What sort of gentleman would I be if I allowed a lady to carry something up these steep stairs," Jiro said as he escorted Bluefire up the stairs. As they climbed up the stairs the siblings noticed how people stared at them, some eyes were envious while others were happy. Just then the thought dawned on them, people thought that they were a couple!

"Who would think we were dating?" Bluefire asked Jiro as they finished walking up the stairs.

"Most people, seeing as how we look nothing alike," Jiro replied as he handed Bluefire her mat. The two picked the slide they wanted to go down and started off. They were neck and neck for most of the time before Bluefire slid an inch farther than Jiro. Once they reached the bottom Jiro only stopped a foot away from the slide while Bluefire skipped to about three feet away from the slide before she flipped under. Jiro tossed his mat aside before going under to rescue his sister. Within a minute and half he was able to find and bring his dear sibling to the surface. Bluefire gasped for air and was breathing heavily, as Jiro carried her to dry land. He patted her on the back, helping her hack up all the water she swallowed. Once she stopped coughing up enough water to fill a dunk tank she stood up shakily, Jiro stood as well, standing behind the blonde to give her support.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

Once I was stable I led Jiro-nii-san to a place I considered the best place in the entire park. The hot tub, more specifically the adults only hot tub and seeing as how my dear brother could pass for my guardian. My brother stopped me in my tracks, pulling me aside to the bushes.

"What was that for?" I whispered quietly enough where only the two of us could hear.

"I just read the sign and you'll be deemed to small to go in," my brother replied, giving me a stern look.

"Relax, kids go in with their parents all the time," I reassured him, but I knew he wasn't going to buy it.

"Let's just go to one of the other two here," Jiro-nii-san said, trying to pull me towards the child infested hot tubs.

"No way, last time I was in there a kid pulled off my bathing suit top and I was kicked out for stripping. I'll just find a way to get in," I replied angrily, my hands on my hips. He sighed in defeat, he knew that when I wanted to go somewhere I didn't stop until I got there.

"Well what do you suppose we do? I can't pose as your father. We don't look enough alike," Jiro-nii-san said. No duh we look nothing a like.

"Relax, I can use my time powers to make myself look older," I replied, taking a step back so my back was against one of the stone support pillars.

"Fine, but don't go too far. I don't want to be stuck your little brother," Jiro-nii-san sighed as he took a step back. I took a deep breath before holding my hands out. I concentrated as I muttured the incantation, I knew this spell was risky. If I screwed up I'd be made either a lot older or be made younger, neither one would be good. I was about to say the age I wanted, twenty one, when some kid randomly yells out ten. Oh crap!

* * *

Jiro's POV

I covered my eyes as a bright light engulfed our area. Once it faded I dared to take a peak, I almost wish I didn't. Instead of the older woman I expected Bluefire-chan to turn into she was left a little girl of about ten years of age. I pinched myself to see if it was dream. Damn, it wasn't a dream at all. This was real meaning my eighteen year old sister somehow screwed up and made herself ten. Well, atleast her swim suit shrunk down to fit her. I plucked my shrunkem sister up and held her in a position where she looked like she was sitting. She rested her head against my chest, her cheeks holding the ever present blush she had in her childhood.

"Who are you?" She asked, looking up into my eyes. Shit, she doesn't recognize me.

"Well, I'm your older brother Jiro," I answered, hoping she'd buy it.

"Why do you look so old?" She asked, her head tilted with confusion. That's right, she only recognizes me at fifteen not twenty three.

"I went through changes," I replied, hoping that would satisfy her new born curiosity.

"Why don't you have lumps on your chest like other people get when they change?" Oh God. She's now questioning my anatomy. This is bad, I need to change her back. I looked around and saw that the hot tub was empty. The lifeguard standing there was busy texting so I walked over to put my kid sister in. Maybe she'll grow up if she's in the adult hot tub. She managed to wiggle out of my hold and stay back from the hot tub. She looked afraid, a look she doesn't show much.

"What's wrong Bluefire-chan?" I asked sweetly, hoping to coax her into going in.

"It looks scary," she replied, shaking from both fear and the cold wind that blew past.

"Don't worry, I'll go in with you. This way nothing can get you," I said holding my hand out to her. She hesitantly placed her much smaller hand into my larger one and gulpped. I walked in first and let go of her hand. I held my arms out to her, signaling her to come to me. She started trembling even more, tears now spilling over the corners of her eyes. I quickly grabbed her and held her against me as I knelt down so she would be submerged. I quickly stood and pulled her up, glad to see I had my normal sister back.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

We wound up spending five hours at the water park before some dude kicked us out because some kid thought it'd be funny to pants my poor brother. I was already changed and my brother was still in his swim trunks meaning his "Ego" was seen by oh so many people. The kid was the son of the manager so he literally kicked my brother out and shoved me out with a slap to the butt. Luckily I got to punch him in the nose before Jiro-nii-san dragged me from him. I yelled profanitites at him as I was carried away and flipped the kid off, happy to see him cry for making my brother become emotionally scarred for life, and we were Black Bloods so we lived a very long time. My brother carted me to the amusement park across the street and plopped me down at a table.

"Why must you be so violent?" He asked with sigh, does he not remember his manhood being seen or is he just blocking that moment from his mind?

"I was defending your honor and that ass slapped my butt so I hit him. He deserved it for sexually harrassing me," I replied before standing up.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he followed me.

"I'm finding us lunch. We didn't eat at the waterpark and I'm starving," I replied as I took his hand and led him through the crowd. I led him to a stand where we could buy some deep-fried goodness. I smirked as my brother shuddered at the sight of fried pickles, but I didn't order them. He was nice enough to go to a waterpark with me so I would older something me could both enjoy. I simply ordered us a deep-fried Twinkie and an order of deep-fried strawberries. I took our food and led him to an empty table. We sat and I took a fork full of Twinkie and shoved it into my brother's mouth. He was shocked at first, but that gave way to immediate bliss. I knew this was good, I order deep-fired Twinkie before and it tasted awesome. I took his fork from him and took a bit for myself, enjoying the fried exterior that gave way to the soft and goey cream center. I could see the delight on my brother's face as he took another bite, some cream sticking on the side of his lips. I smirked before licking the cream off, making my brother blush. He was so cute when he blushed.

* * *

After another three hours at the amusement park we decided to go home. I was starting my Godzilla flavored snowie while Jiro-nii-san started his Tiger's Blood snowie. I made our portal to take us home and led my brother through. He smiled as we walked through, stopping us half way.

"Why did we stop?" I asked before my lips met his. I was shocked, he wasn't this passionate normally.

"Thanks for today," he replied before leading us home. I had lost my ability to speak normally for about an hour, anything I wanted to say came out as gibberish or the words died in my throat from being drowned in Godzilla snowie.

* * *

The six days passed, Jiro-nii-san recieving a call each day and each day I took him somewhere fun to keep him from worrying. Jiro-nii-san came out of his room with a sigh, he was ready for his fate. He stood ready with his eyes closed, I carefully took off his hat emptied it and threw it into our haunted TV. He dared to peak, looking around before he opened his eyes. He sighed and sat down on the couch, not noticing the absence of his hat.

"Say Bluefire-chan, do you think we could deep-fry some stuff tonight?" Jiro-nii-san asked as he looked over at me, a blush staining his cheeks.

"Sure, but you have to buy the Twinkies," I replied with a smirk.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This is the longest chapter I've ever written. Well, it makes up for my short chapter last time. Review and don't forget to suggest ideas for destroying the hat.

P.S. Godzilla snowies are infact good, and Tiger's Blood tastes like strawberry pina colada.


	17. Good Ol' Clorox

I was walking past Bluefire-chan's house late one night, when suddenly the impact of something hitting my face caused me to fall over. Picking it up, I realized it was one of Jiro's many stupid hats, for some reason being thrown out the window. I continued walking down the sidewalk, pass the road roller which was still blocking traffic, among other random junk we left in the road from past attempts at getting rid of Jiro's hat. Going to my newly-constructed-in-under-a-minute Earth home, I took the accursed hat inside, one thing which I've always wanted to do on the top of my mind.

* * *

"Hello, Zara. What brings you here so early in the morning?" Jiro asked, opening the door in his pajamas, slippers, and robe. It was 6 AM. I held up his hat. His scream woke the neighborhood.

"Jeez, Jiro-nii-san. Why'd you have to wake me up? I was having a nosebleed dream!" Bluefire exclaimed, walking down the stairs drowsily. Jiro held up his hat, and Bluefire-chan laughed her head off.

* * *

_I brought the hat inside my bathroom, opening up the bottom cupboard. I pulled out a certain bottle, and filled the sink. Dunking the hat, I let it sit all night. The fumes in the morning woke me up, the sickening smell of bleach._

* * *

I grinned as I watched Jiro grab the hat, now completely pink and covered in holes. He didn't yell at me, though, and went straight to his room. At least the hat matches his PJs now: pink with polka dots.

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Clorox, or Bleach. Or the Kagamine Road Roller.


	18. Monkey Madness

**Author's Note : **Chapter 18 is ready! Woooot!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Ah the circus, so many memories and so many things to see and do. I can remember a time when I was in circus camp training to be an acrobat, ironic seeing as how I'm afraid of heights. The camp I was trained at came to town so as a former student its my job to watch the first show then perform in the second one, but for now I was allowed to bring some friends and family to see the animals. Bella loved seeing the animals, especially the monkeys. Meanwhile Sebastian was playing with the lions and tigers, getting what he calls love bites. I call those a trip to the hospital for some stitches. I looked around and noticed Jiro-nii-san being licked by a giraffe, I always noticed that giraffes find him tasty looking and decide to lick his face. Jiro-nii-san didn't look to pleased, especially since James was laughing at his dear Daddy.

"I always knew you were delicious and this giraffe proves it," Gakupo said cheerfully as he walked over to his slobbery lover.

"Ew, I feel like one of the kids' teething biscuts," Jiro-nii-san said as the giraffe continued licking him. I turned and noticed Zara's interest in the monkeys, her eyes locked on them. I also noticed Bella was watching them as well. Being the good friend and aunt I am I decided to take one of the trained monkeys out to have them pet her. I picked out a black monkey named Kiki and had her sit on my shoulder. Everyone was in awe, and unfourtunately for Jiro-nii-san the giraffe licked the inside of his mouth.

"Haha! Jiro kissed a giraffe!" Kaito said before laughing like a mad man. I snapped my fingers and had Kiki punch him in the head. She ran up to Jiro-nii-san, ripped off his hat and ate it in one gulp. My dear older brother sighed in defeat.

"First I swap spit with a giraffe and now a monkey eats my hat. What else could go wrong?" He sighed as James laughed at him in that cute baby laugh of his. Just then one of the panthers escaped and pinned my older brother down to the ground.

"Easy Jiro, you don't want to hurt my brother," I said to the black cat. He backed off and walked up to me. He laid down at my feet and rolled so his belly would show. I humored the jungle cat and rubbed his belly.

"You named a giant cat after me," Jiro-nii-san said, still laying on the ground, clutching James protectively.

"Yup! I found him when he was a little cub and he reminded me of how cute you were in your baby pictures," I said sweetly. I could see his face heat up and he tried to hide his blush by using James like a mask.

"Alright Jiro, bring the nice man you tried to eat earlier to me," I said to the panther. He got up and dragged Jiro-nii-san back over to me. He dropped him and laid down. James pet the jungle feline and marveled at how soft he felt.

* * *

"Bluefire-chan! This circus could get rid of the hat once and for all!" Zara cheered as she sat next to me.

"Yeah, but we have to be careful. There's a bear here named Bosco and he doesn't like to be bothered," I replied before eatign some popcorn.

"Don't worry, Bosco won't even know we're here," Zara reassured. Kiki ran by, threw a banana at Jiro-nii-san, and lept off to go play with the other monkeys.

"I now officially hate monkeys," he growled. Gakupo smiled and kissed his lips.

"You taste like giraffe," he said after he broke off.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Its short I know, but its a break from chapter 16. Yes Bluefire did go to circus camp to be an acrobat, but she also learned how to train animals as well, that's why the panther named Jiro listened to her. Review for some more amazingness~Bff#3


	19. Nellefint

"What is this large, magnificent creature?" I asked Bluefire.

"That's an elephant," she replied.

"Nellefint. Got it."

"No, it's an elephant."

"That's what I said. Nellefint. I got it."

"Never mind. Do you have the stupid hat?" I held it up.

It's the second day of the circus, the day of the first show, and Jiro wore another hat. When he was trying to get past the giraffe, we grabbed it off his head, effectively pushing him into the stall. The giraffe was going to have LOTS of fun tonight!

"Hey, Phillip Johnny Bob!" Bluefire-chan said, holding up the hat which we filled with peanuts. The nellefint grabbed it with its long tentacle and ate all the peanuts. "Now, sit on the hat!" The nellefint complied, squashing the hat under its massive hindquarters.

* * *

"Hey, Bluefire-chan. Zara," Jiro said, coming down onto the bleachers with all our food. I grabbed my pop-ped corn and bottled water with my bending skills, letting the food levitate to me.

"I know you're a princess, but why don't you just eat it normally?" Jiro asked.

"This isn't normal enough for you? Back on the Sun, my servants feed me like this. But here, I have to think in order to do it," I reply, continuing to crunch the popcorn in my mouth. Levitating Jiro's food, I force feed him without even looking. "Now be quiet and eat your baked dough. The show is about to begin."

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, or Junie B. Jones.

Review or Zara will force feed you your baked dough and pop-ped corn!


	20. Stampede!

**Author's Note : **Twenty chapters down, 980 to go!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I sat there, arguing with Jiro-nii-san as usual. This time its about Pokemon sprites.

"Oh come on! The first generation sprites are way better than your damn fourth generation crap!" Jiro-nii-san snapped as he tried to prove me wrong by showing off the derpy psyduck.

"At least its better than your tipsy Golbat from Pokemon Yellow!" I yelled back, showing off the offending Pokemon with a little blurb saying 'Dude's drunk as Hell.'

"Oh please at least we don't make enough legendary Pokemon to choke an elephant!" He replied. He had me cornered, but I had plenty of experience in fights like these.

"Oh yeah? Well you can't get a Mew can you Mister I think Red, Blue, Yellow, and Green are super amazing!" I snapped. He cursed under his breath before showing off the derpy sprite for Magikarp. I had to show it. I found the picture on my phone and showed it to him. He went down screaming in pain. Yes, I won with the power of Pokemon Green sprites! I smirked at my defeated brother. "You know what has to happen now."

"Fine, I'll do it, but I won't like it at all," he muttered as he stomped over to the animal cages. He threw open all their cages using the Hide Hand and freaked them out with the sprite of Mew from Pokemon Green. They ran and trampled his hat, which he had to throw under the stampeeding animals. He stompped back over to me, sat down and crossed his arms over his chest angrily.

"I bet the six generation of Pokemon is going to be based off of furniture," Jiro-nii-san said angrily.

"Who cares? All I know is that Green is notorious for its bad sprites," I replied as I scrolled through the sprites. I have to say that my favorite Pokemon had to be Mew. Though it was hard to make Mew adorable, in the end it wound up become as cute and cuddly as Pikachu.

* * *

That night the two of us snuck into Zara's room and put a poster up of the scary Mew from Pokemon Green above her bed and then we put a poster of the Golbat sprite from Pokemon Yellow on the mirror in her bathroom. We might be killed later, but it'll be worth it.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

You have to search these sprites to get what I mean, but for those of you who know have to agree. The Mew from Pokemon Green is pretty scary. I'd like to thank Quirky Ditto from Youtube for inspiring me to bash some old Pokemon sprites here. Review and tell me which Pokemon sprite you hate the most. Can be any Pokemon you want, just tell the Pokemon and which game its from.~Bff#3


	21. Jeff The Killer Clowns?

"Gueaaaahhhhhfkdjfsdjfoiejfd! WHAT IS THAT?!" I scream, waking up to find an atrocious monster lurking over my bed. I quickly firebend at it, because in my 25% awake state, everything looks like Jeff the Killer. And Jeff the Killer is the most CREEPIEST PASTA EVER. I stop the fire, realizing it was just a doodle... or something... Because it's early in the morning, I have to rehydrate myself, and the freshest water comes from the bathroom sink. I crawl out of bed, wiping sand from my eyes, and scream yet again at the form at eye level, bending lightning now every which way. However, the lightning goes through the pipes and somehow touches an Earthling satellite in Space, thus bringing the shock back to town to the circus. But I would only find this out later.

* * *

"I hate you both," I snarl, throwing a rock at Bluefire and genderbending Jiro. We go down to the circus together, Jiro extremely embarrassed because he's a woman, Gakupo finally happy that he's the man in the relationship, Bluefire rubbing her bruised nose, and me, levitating myself in a relaxing position. But then I see them: clowns.

"Why does that clown look familiar?" Bluefire-chan asks, squinting into the distance.

"They all look the same, Bluefire. You must be more specific," I answer. And then I realize: they're not normal clowns. They're identical clowns with a lust for blood and murder. Killer clowns.

"Save the children!" Gakupo shrieks. He picks up Jiro and starts running, pushing the stroller along. I make it easier for them and subtract the gravity around them to an extent, enough so they can levitate like me, but for beginners.

"Ah, I knew they looked familiar! They're... Jeff the Killer Clowns!" Bluefire says. But then she realizes what she just said, and follows the group which already started running. I transport Jiro's hat into my grasp and quickly throw it to the infinite Jeffs. Then I start running.

* * *

It took me a whole day, all of us in a killer clown-proof bunker in my basement to realize that I could just poof them all away. So that I did, along with some pickles.

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, CreepyPasta, Jeff The Killer, Killer Clowns From Outer Space, or the pickles reference from "Slendy Works At Burger King".

"Now go to sleep." _Jeff's RIGHT BEHIND YOU._


	22. Death by Chocolate

**Author's Note : **Time for one of the sweetest chapters in the world. Enjoy, this one is for all you chocoholics out there.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Mmmm~ Chocolate, the best invention of mankind ever. So creamy, so delicious yet so destructive. One drip of chocolate and a perfectly white dress will be tarnished by that random chocolate mark. I smiled as I watched the show on how to make the delicious confections at Hershey Park. Sitting next to me was Zara, she was completely mezmerized by how the animatronic cows sang about the milk used in Hershey's milk chocolate.

"Bluefire-chan? How were you Earthlings able to train cows to sing?" Zara asked as she stared at the cows.

"They are machines Zara, not real cows," I replied, staring up at the Kit Kat bars held in the boxes traveling above my head, I wanted one of these boxes to fall into my hands so I can devour the entire box.

"So all the cows on Earth are machines?" Zara questioned, watching the melted chocolate being churned slowly to make the rich, creamy base of each chocolate treat. I face-palmed. Sometimes I wonder how Zara and I became friends. Once the ride ended we stepped off, meeting Jiro-nii-san, Gakupo, Sebastian, and Kanda. Sebastian held Alfred, Kanda held Yuuna, Jiro held James, and Gakupo held Francisco and Bella.

"So did you enjoy the ride?" I asked the clearly bored Kanda.

"I hate this place, too many screaming children and joy," he replied, tickling Yuuna. The blue-haired babe giggled sweetly, making James giggle as well.

"Well I enjoyed the ride," Sebastian said cheerfully as we walked to the exit. We each recieved a free sample of chocolate, a few Hershey kisses. Kanda only kept one and shoved the rest ontop of Jiro-nii-san's hat.

"We should get the chocolate at the end so it doesn't melt," Jiro-nii-san said, resisting the urge to buy a couple pounds of chocolate.

"Fine, but we're getting Kit Kat bars," I said, walking away from a cute shirt that said "Save our planet its the only one that has chocolate!"

* * *

Walking along Zara and I spotted the merry-go-round. Gakupo saw it as well, he dragged Jiro-nii-san to stand in line with him. Sebastian, Zara, and I dragged Kanda to go on with us.

"I'm not going on some retarded kiddie ride with shitty horses!" Kanda snapped.

"Oh come on Kanda, the horses are really cute!" I said with glee, picking out which horse I wanted to ride.

"No way in Hell!" He shouted. I covered his mouth and stared into his eyes.

"Listen Kanda, if you don't comply with our demands you will be stuck a four year old until your kids are in their twenties. Got it," I growled, my eyes glowing with rage. He gulpped and nodded. I uncovered his mouth and stepped back. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and waited with the rest of us. Once our turn came I ran and got the pretty horse with a black mane and blue decorations. Zara picked a blonde horse with red decorations, Gakupo and Sebastian snatched up the last remaining bench and sat with the babies in their arms, leaving Jiro-nii-san and Kada to find a horse. Kanda got stuck with a pink maned horse with yellow decorations and Jiro-nii-san got left with a horse that matched mine. The ride started and I heard some kids laugh at Jiro-nii-san and Kanda, both glared at the kids and they ran away screaming. Zara and I glared at them, both looked away, clearly frightened.

* * *

An hour passed and our group was running into the waterpark. I gave Jiro the same medicine as I did at the waterpark a few weeks ago. He smiled and held Gakupo's hand. Gakupo gave him a kiss before he and Sebastian ran off to go play with the babies. This left Jiro-nii-san and Kanda to our mercy. Zara and I played Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who got who. I lost and got Kanda, while Zara was free to do whatever she wanted with Jiro-nii-san. I waved them off before dragging Kanda to go to the slide complex. I cheered as I ran to find a fun slide while Kanda sprayed some kid who looked like one of his co-workers Allen Walker. I waved Kanda over while pointing to a purple slide. He was about to reach me when some kid shoved past him.

"Move it shirtless lady!" The kid snapped before he noticed me.

"Sup cutie. You wanna ditch this old lady and hang out with a young stud like me?" This punk asked me.

"Nope! I wanna do this!" I said before shoving him down the smallest slide there. The smaller children laughed at him as he ran, crying for his mommy.

"Thanks kid," Kanda muttered, a blush on his face. I kissed his cheek and smiled at him.

"Don't worry Kanda, I still love love you," I said before leading him to the slide. He slid down and waited for me to reach him. Once there he scooped me up and ran, carrying me. Before I could ask what he was doing the giant bucket tipped and drenched us completely.

* * *

Jiro's POV

Why am I doing this? I was stuck walking around with Zara, a girl who could easily beat me up and still continues to intimidate me.

"So Jiro, don't you find this river to be romantic?" Zara asked me as we drifted along the lazy river.

"I guess," I replied, unaware of what she meant. She suddenly grabbed my hand and smiled at me. Okay, time to freak out now. She knew I was dating Gakupo right? I'm not single anymore and she's way too young for me. If she was eighteen like Bluefire-chan was then this wouldn't be a problem. I turned and was face to face with her. Were her eyes always purple with pink hearts in them? She leaned in closer, I leaned back and fell into the river, moving Zara over to my tube. Just great, I'm soaked and tubeless.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

I smiled as I walked with Kanda, the man was clearly wet and dreading what I was going to make him do. I stood and waited as Kanda completed his torture, he had to do the surfing simulator. I smirked at his lack of balance. I wonder what Zara and Jiro-nii-san are doing?

* * *

Jiro's POV

"Zara you change me back this instant!" I snapped as I kept my chest covered. She turned me into a girl again, just because I refused to kiss her. Luckily we were in the wave pool and nobody saw me.

"Nope! Not until you kiss me!" Zara snapped, smirking at my displeasure. I could hit her right now, but if I let go this ample chest of mine would be exposed. I turned when some creep was right behind me.

"So~ You wanna show me the rest of that hot body baby?~" The creep said, trying to pull my trunks off. I growled and kicked him hard in the manly weakness I now lack. He yanked my trunks off, leaving me completely naked. I gasped, blushing furiously. Zara punched the guy and used her magic or whatever it is to make me invisible. I swam out and ran to the women's bathrooms. I swiped the only open stall and waited until the invisibility wore off. I immediately covered myself and stood there, hoping either Zara or Bluefire-chan would come to help me.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

I was happily munching away on some curly fries when Zara ran up to me.

"Bluefire-chan! We've got major issues! Jiro was turned into a girl and stripped by some creeper! I turned him invisible so he could escape but, I lost him!" Zara yelled. Luckily nobody was around to hear her.

"You lost him!?" I snapped, worrying about my brother's safety.

"Oi! Can't you use that telepathic thingy to find him?" Kanda asked, annoyed that his best friend was not only a girl, but a lost invisible one. I sighed and quieted my mind, searching for his aura. After a few minutes of searching I found it, luckily he was in the girl's changing stall and it was only a few feet away.

"Found him, but you two stay here!" I said, yelling the second half of that sentence. I ran off to find my new older sister.

* * *

Jiro's POV

I tried not to cry, but my reflection made it very hard not to. I looked so small, so weak, so vulnerable. Sure I looked attractive, but this wasn't me. I wasn't supposed to be a woman, I was supposed to be a man. I heard a knocking on the door.

"I-it's occupied," I said nervously, not used to this new voice.

"Jiro-nii-san, its me Bluefire. Can I come in?" My eyes widened at the sound of her voice, she sounded worried. I nervously opened the door, hiding myself behind it. She stepped in and I shut the door, still covering myself. She looked at my new body, eyeing my curves. She pulled out a simple swim suit. A black one piece with a red skirt. She helpped me put it on, making sure it fit me properly in the crutial areas. I looked at my reflection, amazed by how good I looked.

"Come on Jiro-nii-san, we've got some people to shock," Bluefire-chan said as she took my hand. I nodded and exited the changing room, the women in there staring enviously at my chest. I blushed and ran out, crashing right into Gakupo.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

Oh boy, here comes trouble. Gakupo has no idea about his dear boyfriend becoming his girlfriend. Gakupo started blushing for he had a good view of Jiro-nii-san's sumptious curves.

"Forgive me miss, I didn't see you there," he said helping Jiro-nii-san up.

"Oh its fine Gaky. It was my fault , not yours," Jiro-nii-san replied, smiling sweetly.

"Eh? How do you know me?" Gakupo asked, oh boy. I can tell this is going to turn ugly.

"Gakupo its me, Jiro. Don't you recognize your own boyfriend?" Jiro-nii-san replied, looking a little hurt.

"I'm sorry, but you aren't my boyfriend. He's alot taller and isn't a woman," Gakupo said, trying to sound gentle. He turned from him, walking away to try and find who he thought was his boyfriend. Jiro-nii-san lowered his head, covering his eyes with his bangs. His bottom lip trembled and his breath hitched. Oh man! He's crying! I ran up to him and hugged him, trying to soothe my heartbroken brother, er sister...I guess. Brother in a woman's body? Yeah, that'll work.

"Don't worry, he'll realize his mistake soon enough," I cooed, wiping away some of his tears.

"No. He won't realize his mistake, because I'm leaving. Now," Jiro-nii-san said, trying to free himself from my grip.

"You're not leaving. Listen to me, now is not the time to run away. Confront him, tell him what you feel and don't let him leave until everything you're feeling is expressed," I said sternly. Jiro-nii-san looked at me, shocked by how mature I sounded. He nodded and wiped his eyes, removing the last of the tears. I let go and watched him march up to Gakupo, take ahold of his wrist and force him to stay silent.

* * *

Jiro's POV

Now that I had Gakupo right where I wanted him, I had to tell him. Everything I felt.

"Listen Gakupo, I know you don't believe me, but I really am Jiro. I know that you love eggplant tempura and a nice cup of green tea with a tiny bit of honey. I know you are alergic to three kinds of perfume scents; daisies, daphodiles, and petunias. I even know that you want a seven tier wedding cake made of red velvet cake and frosted with chocolate icing that is colored purple. You can't deny that its me Gakupo, please believe me," I said, tears brimming in my eyes. Gakupo's eyes widened, he knew I was the only one who heard about his dream wedding cake. He hugged me tightly and started crying.

"Jiro-san, p-please forgive me. I had no idea it was you. I'm so sorry! Even if you don't forgive me please stay by my side! I'm nothing without you! Please please please forgive me!" Gakupo cried, tears spilling from his eyes. I pressed a finger to his soft lips, shushing him sweetly. He opened his eyes, looking directly into mine. I removed my finger and replaced it with my lips, easily overpowering him despite now being shorter than him. Gakupo lifted me up so we'd be at the same height, making it easier to kiss him. Mmmmm~ He tasted so good right now, his lips were so tender and sweet I wanted to devour them all day.

* * *

Bluefire's POV

Hours passed and once Jiro-nii-san changed back during the ride back to the hotel things were good, until Jiro-nii-san saw his hat. Chocolate stains covering it, but it smelt yummy.

"Who did this!?" Jiro-nii-san snapped, not caring that the babies were sleeping.

"Who cares about a stupid hat?" Kanda scoffed, staring out the window.

"Kanda! I'm killing you!" Jiro-nii-san snapped before he tackled Kanda when they exited the car. The two fought until I forced them both through a transformation. Jiro-nii-san now had cat ears and a cat tail while Kanda was now a girl. They both glared at me and chased me to the work out room. Luckily they didn't have the key. Zara, if you are reading this, send help!

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Ah~ Another new chapter done. Its long to make up for the short chappies! Review and you can decide who you want to hug Fem Jiro or Fem Kanda.~Bff#3


	23. Neun Und Neunzig Luftballons

I woke up with the feeling something was not right. Quickly opening my holo-top, I searched for the most recent entry for our hat destroying blog. So Bluefire needs help again. Isn't she forgetting that she can open portals? So I use my mind-phone, which is me talking on speakerphone with no phone.

"Hey, Bluefire!" I say.

"Zara! Come on, I need help here!" she frantically says back to me. I can hear the door banging in the background.

"I read the blog. Really? Transforming? I did that earlier today to Jiro!"

"Just do something!" she shouts back to me. Quickly, I hang up, transporting myself right behind Jiro.

"Can I have that kiss now?" I whisper into his ear. He and Kanda both scream and run off. "Bluefire-chan! It's safe to come out now!"

* * *

Concentrating, I open Jiro's drawer with my mind, taking out a hat and levitating it through the door. Bluefire is standing next to me, a helium air pump in one hand, some string and latex in the other. Going onto my balcony, she ties the hat buckle to the string and pumps up a balloon. Using my copy-bending abilities, I clone it so there is a total of ninety-nine balloons. We release the hat, and it starts floating up to the sky... but then Jiro wakes up and finds his door open, so he goes out and sees us on our balcony.

* * *

I think I'm going to let Bluefire take it from here now, because the second part of the destroying is so hilarious that I'd probably fall on the keyboard of my holo-top.

* * *

3BFFs doesn't own Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, or the song "99 Luftballons" by Nena.


	24. De Plane! De Plane!

**Author's Note : **Buwahahaha! Hat shall die now! Muahahaha!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Ah revenge is sweet. This is my favorite way to kill something, with an airplane. Luckily my friend Alfred aka America was here and willing to be my co-pilot. Meanwhile Zara kept everybody but the three of us unconcious so us tow "Pilots" could scream whatever we wanted into the inner-com system.

"This is Captain America here, reminding everybody to annoy a Brit once a day!" Alfred cheered into the mic. I shook my head at him as I piloted the plane. There it was, target in sight. I hugged Jiro-nii-san's precious Panthy and locked onto the red thing. I hit the turbo speed button and watched as we shot forward towards it, the hat staying at the same altitiude. I raised us up a couple feet and stayed steady. I heard a familiar grinding noise and smiled as hat chunks flew through the air. Luckily there was a parade below us so he hat just looked like confetti.

* * *

After an hour of searching Alfred and I landed the plane in the hotel parking lot, both of us noticing an angry Brit and two angry Japanese men standing there waiting for us.

"What should we do?" Alfred asked, not caring that the Brit was yelling at him.

"I say we make use of these stupid peanuts," I said pulling out a box of airline peanuts. Aflred smiled, getting what I meant.

* * *

Outside the plane

"Dammit Alfred got your arse out here!" Arthur yelled, his emerald eyes glowing dangeously.

"I say we cut open the plane," the still female Kanda said, clutching Mugen incase it was needed.

"Now now, we shouldn't resort to violence so quickly nya~. There are still passengers on board," Jiro-nii-san said, trying to be rational, but his cat like features made it hard to look serious. Just then we opened the upper hatch, Alfred standing there with a turret.

"Dance ladies dance!" Alfred yelled as he shot the peanuts at them. Jiro-nii-san ran and took cover behind a car while Arthur made a shield using his magic. Kanda wasn't so lucky. He got peanuts shot at his butt, making it sore and making him run for cover. Arthur was the next to go, taking a peanut to the forehead curtosy of Zara's peanut sniper rifle. I threw a bag of peanuts behind Jiro-nii-san's cover, the bag exploded on impact, sending the cat like warrior out of his hiding place. I ran and captured him by using his new tail as a leash. Kanda was found by a vending machine, passed out after so many peanuts hitting his rump. Arthur was the easiest to find seeing as how a familiar Frenchman was trying to make out with him.

"Move it Frenchie! Artie's mine!" Alfred snapped, pulling Arthur up against his chest.

"Hmph! Remember this lazy American, Angletere shall be mine! Ahonhonhonhon!" Francis said before dissappearing in a flash of flower petals.

* * *

After an hour of rest, our three captives woke up. Each afraid of what we would do to them. Instead of being mean I put an ice bag on Kanda's slightly swollen butt, Zara gave Jiro-nii-san a nice tuna fillet to eat seeing as how his tastes are like a cat's, and Alfred gave Arthur a kiss on the lips. We left, smirks clear on our faces as our respective prisoners were left confused, except Jiro-nii-san who was happily munching away on his piece of raw tuna.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Buwahahaha! Hat go bye bye! Review and you can pet Neko!Jiro~Bff#3


	25. What Is This I Don't Even

A few weeks passed, and I had to do some Sun-ambassador related things in Africa... After, which, I brought back a special gift for Jiro. That stupid hat must go.

* * *

"What is that?" Bluefire-chan has been asking me this over and over again for the past two hours. Quickly, I pull open my holo-top to the Wiki page.

"It's an antelope of the genus _Connochaetes_," I say, petting it.

"It's a random animal from Africa. But why is it in my basement?" Without saying anything, I lead the majestic animal upstairs, where Jiro is watching TV not expecting anything. Lifting the beast up with my superhuman strength, it starts chewing at the red fabric of the hat. Jiro, feeling some sort of hat-related disturbance, looks up, his face then covered with slobber.

"What is that?" Jiro asks, annoyed.

"She's a gift for you, my love! I brought her back from Africa. And she's pregnant, so take good care of her," I say, placing this wonderful wildebeest on his lap. She continues eating the hat as Jiro tries to stand up, though his efforts are futile. He's going to be stuck there for a while...

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Wikipedia, or Africa.

Wildebeest... whut?


	26. Cheetahs Never Prosper

**Author's Note : **Chapter 26 brings a trip. A very fun trip.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

The zoo! We're going to the zoo! I eagerly bounced on my seat as we drove on the Vocaloid Tour Bus, staring out the window pointing out license plates on the way.

"What's with that one with the horse? Florida isn't known for horses! Its known for oranges and its warm climate!" I shouted, utterly confused by the horse plate. Miku-chan giggled, her eyes flashing a slightly green flash.

"I don't know Onee-san, maybe they ride horses," Miku-chan replied, smiling sweetly. Zara stared at us, an intent look on her face.

"What is it Zara?" I asked, giving her the same intent look she had.

"You don't look like twins," Zara answered, tilting her head to look at us at a different angle.

"We were identical until Miku-chan's hair was dyed teal and she grew an inch taller than me," I sighed, looking back out the window.

"Ooh! Onee-san! Its Okrahoma!" Miku shouted as she stood, pointing at an okra delivery truck passing by with an Oklahoma license plate. The three of us laughed as the others didn't pay attention to us. Gakupo and Jiro-nii-san were holding the triplets and sleeping against eachother, Kaito was passed out from eating seven pounds of icecream, Meiko was drinking a couple beers with Zelman, Cain was busy looking over Kotaro and Sei, Sebastian, Kanda and their twins were drawing some pictures, Kanda's were very violent so Sebastian kept smacking him for his drawings, and Mimiko and Rinsuke were staring enviously at Gakupo, clearly jealous that he had Jiro-nii-san wrapped around his finger.

* * *

Once we arrived at the zoo we split off into groups. Jiro-nii-san, Gakupo, their babies, and I were group one, Miku, Kaito, Zara, and Rinsuke were group two, Zelman, Mimiko, Rin, and Len were group three, Meiko, Cain, Sei, Kotaro, and Luka were group four. My group was heading off to see the big cats simply because Jiro-nii-san has always been fasintated by big cats ever since he was about two years old, that and at that time he was kidnapped by panthers for a week. There were random kids running around and one caught my eye. It was a boy about seven years old and he was trying to pull some tail feathers off of a peacock. Once he grabbed one the peacock pecked the kid and chased him until the kid ran head first into a tree. I started laughing at him as Jiro-nii-san simply shook his head at me.

* * *

After a few minutes of walking we reached the cheetahs. There were two males guarding a trio of fuzzy little cubs, they reminded me so much of the happy family right next to me. Gakupo was gushing over how cute the little cubs looked as Jiro-nii-san's eyes followed the movements of the cheetahs, he looked like a little kid watching fireworks for the first time as he smiled and blushed with happiness. Just then a gust of wind blew and knocked the hat off of his head. Luckily I grabbed Panthy before it got to the cheetahs. It landed near the cubs, freaking them out and causign them to cry out in fear. The larger male shredded the hat as the smaller male licked the three cubs to try and calm them down. Gakupo and I looked to Jiro-nii-san, who was still staring at the cheetahs as though nothing happened. We sighed as we sat down, knowing he would stare for a couple more minutes.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Woot! New chapter is complete! Next chappie will come out soon so stay tuned for the next installment of 1000 Ways to Destroy Jiro's Hat! Review and show the love of cheetah babies!~Bff#3


	27. Pheromones

It was night, and I was lying awake in bed on the tour bus. We got five-day passes to the zoo, so we decided to stay in the parking lot. I got up from my cozy comforter, and poked at Bluefire-chan's face. Shrugging when she rolled over, refusing to wake up, I go to the back of the bus, and quickly grab Jiro's hat from a peg on the wall, adding a little something to it...

* * *

"Gaky, I'm not sure what it is. My hat just smells... funny..." Jiro says as we walk into the entrance of the zoo. We split into different groups after I complained that Kaito was being a creeper towards me... he said he wasn't, but then I said he was licking his ice cream really close to my ear... So now we went into two groups: Me, Bluefire, Jiro, Gakupo, their babies, Zelman, Meiko, and Miku in one group, Kaito, Rinsuke, Mimiko, Rin, Len, Kotaro, Sei, and Luka in the other. Cain stayed back at the bus for the same reason as Sebastian, Kanda, and their babies: they had all gotten sick the day before, and last night Cain came down with whatever it was also.

Our group stopped by everything, until we got to the big cats. All the jaguars in their habitat looked up at Jiro's hat, refusing to look away. I pulled Jiro toward the exhibit, the Black Blood hesitating, being all cute and such. Suddenly, the jaguars jumped, all thumping against the glass, cracking it bit by bit. The beasts tackled Jiro as they all fought for the hat, tearing off his clothing and at each other. Everyone who was near the exhibit ran for their lives, but the creatures didn't give a zap about them. Just the hat.

* * *

It was night, and we were exiting the zoo. I looked over at Jiro, who glared at me. The zoo gift shop, to try to cover him up after being stripped and violated completely by the jaguars, gave him a medium T-Shirt, the only size they had left, in the only design they had left: "I Had FUN At The ZOO!" However, they had no pants even close to his size, so for the rest of the day he had to walk around in his black boxers, a giant hole in the butt.

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Black Butler, D Grey Man, or Vocaloid.


	28. Leopards of Amazingness

**Author's Note : **Chapter 28, nothing really special about it besides its close to Chapter 30. Now Chapter 30 is going to be cool.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Day three of our trip to the zoo and only Kaito stayed behind on the bus. He wound up being punched repeatedly by Zara after he went into the bathroom and she was only in a robe because she was done with her shower. So as a result he is waiting for his face to return and his arm to start feeling well, anything.

* * *

"Hey Gaky are you okay? You look a little pale," Jiro-nii-san asked, looking at his lover. The purplette was walking slower than usual and the color was partially drained from his face.

"A-are you sure its safe here? The jaguars escaped yesterday, and I don't want a repeat of yesterday. Those women aren't touching my man!" Gakupo responded, yelling out the last part. Some teenage girls from yesterday ran away after receiving glares from Gakupo and Zara.

"Don't worry, I'm positive we'll be safe. Besides Cain's here and we can afford to sacrifice his slow ass to save ours," Jiro-nii-san replied, whispering the last part to Cain wouldn't hear him. The groups are split up to Cain, Zara, Jiro-nii-san, Gakupo, their babies, Sebastian, Kanda, their babies, and I to group one. Mimiko, Zelman, Meiko, Rin, Len, Luka, Sei, and Kotaro are group two.

* * *

The leopard exibit is closed due to one of the females going into labor. I wish I could see the little newborns, they are really cute from the pictures I've seen on the internet. I decide to do the next best thing, I summon up a leopard and disguise myself as a trainer and even disguise my voice so they wouldn't guess it was me. The first to notice me was Sebastian.

"OMG! Jiro come quick! There's a cute leopard!" Sebastian calls as he gushes over the cute animal. Jiro-nii-san runs over and starts his cutesy little kid's interest act again, his eyes sparkilng as he looked at the fine cat.

"Aw~ Its so cute!" Jiro-nii-san said as he watched my animal. The leopard walks up to Jiro-nii-san and plops down at his feet. The leopard looks up at the hat and motions to it.

"I see Kimba here likes your hat," I said, my voice sounding a little Austrailian.

"Here, Kimba can keep it," Jiro-nii-san said as he gave the hat to the leopard. The leopard took it in his paws and rubbed his head against the hat. I smile as I lead the big cat to the keeper by the leopards and run off to the bathrooms. Dear God I've gotta pee!

* * *

After a few minutes I changed back and walked over to my group, they stayed close and were looking at a little lamb that was bleating ever so cutely at Gakupo. The Vocaloid looked very happy.

"Bluefire-chan~ This lamb is soooooo cute! It even licked my hand," Gakupo said as he blushed. The lamb walked up to me and bleated. I smiled and pet the little guy, smiling until it took a big bite out of my Zoo tee-shirt. I hate showing off my cleavage and now this cute lamb is making me hate the rest of the day, but I let it go. It was a cute lamb instead of an ugly goat, now if it was my goat friend Mike I would've made stir-fry out of him and split it with Jiro-nii-san.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Chapter 28 is done, done done! I just love the zoo! I might write them in the petting zoo! REview and you'll be able to pet the cute little lamb.~Bff#3


	29. LEO THE NEPETA I MEAN LION

Yet again, it was the next day... Boy, what a horrible transition. Anyway, we just randomly split up into smaller groups today than usual, not really important. I'm still pissed at Kaito. He's keeping his distance. So, today I went over to the lions. That's where Sebastian was, and for some reason, he was down there sticking his head into a lion's mouth. I quickly transport him out of the habitat to us, and run up to Jiro.

"Jiro, that lion ate my chocolate!" I cry, pouting and 'turning on the charm' as you Earthlings say. He suddenly runs up to the lion habitat, jumping over the wall.

"I'll save you, chocolate!" he shouts. Somehow, Sebastian got back into the habitat and Jiro tripped over him, sending his hat flying into the mouth of one of the lionesses. Quickly yet again, I poof them both out of the dangerous situation, smiling.

"Sorry, Jiro, I forgot that I put my chocolate in THIS pocket, not the one that was dangling precariously over the wall to the lion habitat. Thanks anyway!" I giggle as I skip away.

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Black Butler, Vocaloid, or Homestuck. There will be more Homestuck in later chapters. Short chapter is short, I know.


	30. Penguins Panthers and Icecream oh my

**Author's Note : **Yay Chapter 30! Wooot! Awesomeness!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Last day of our trip and I was busy staring at a penguin. Not just any penguin, but a Macaroni penguin. Just what I needed. I grabbed the penguin and ran up to Kaito, who was really annoying Zara. I tapped Kaito's shoulder and he turned, his sapphire blue eyes widened.

"Get that demonic abomination away from me!" He yelled before running away, screaming and knocking over a few things and people. Zara smiled as she pet the penguin.

"You sir, have protected me from a creeper. You have earned the right to be my friend," Zara said as she put a badge in the shape of the sun on the penguin's forehead.

"Now lets get that hat to die!" I cheered before leading our trio to my dear sweet brother.

* * *

Currently our target is feeding a cute little rabbit a carrot, smiling as the soft bunny nibbled away at his food. We noticed a couple staring at us, the guy reminding me alot of if Kanda and Gakupo had a kid. I shooed them away so we could continue being stalkers, but the didn't move. Instead they walked closer to us.

"Back off! We've got a stupid thing to destroy!" Zara snapped as she tried getting them to back off.

"Is that a spotted unicorn riding a unicycle?" I asked as I pointed to the distance. They turned and we ran off to go destroy the hat.

* * *

"I think we lost them," I panted as we stopped running for a while. We managed to run from the crazy couple that kept chasing us and for some reason the girl was yelling something about me being a crazy bitch that doesn't know good fiction if it bit me in the ass. Crazy chick. We saw the panthers and knew what we must do. Zara cut the chain and let the large cats free, I grabbed up our penguin we named Lord Freezy and Zara and we rode a large panther to my brother. He'll never know what hit him.

* * *

Gakupo's POV

This is the life. Surrounded by cute kitties, having three adorable babies with the man of my dreams, and said man was rubbing my shoulders. I felt as though I died and gone to Heaven. Just then a low rumble sounded in the distance, oh great. Just what we need, a thunder storm and James and I are both highly brontophobic. I could feel Jiro-san's hands grip my shoulders, damn he's strong. Ah, forgive me for that. I usually don't use such vulgar language. Anyways the rumble got louder and louder and James was starting to get restless. I hugged the three of them tightly, hoping my embrace would make James calm down. A rush of wind blew past us and I heard Jiro-san scream in shock. I looked up and saw that he was currently hatless. Yay! Now that beautiful hair is free for me to run my fingers through! Muahahaha!

* * *

Normal POV

Now that hat shall be fed to my loyal panther friends. They devoured it with glee, for I soaked it in meat drippings the night before and nobody noticed nor cared. It feels good to know I'm doing the entire world a favor by destroying that eyesore. Jiro-nii-san was going to kill me, but when looking at him he was busy being licked by a few panthers.

"No! Stop it! It tickles too much!" He cried in between his laughter. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so much. Gakupo tried to fight back his giggles at how adorable his boyfriend looked, and from behind me I could feel the heat from the blush on Zara's face. Awww, young love is so cute! Wait, now I'm hungry, and I know just who to feed off of.

* * *

He he he. That guy is all alone. Now for a yummy treat. I could tell he's different, but that didn't matter to me. He looked pretty tasty. I simply latched onto him, kepping his arms pinned at his sides and the Eye Rape I mean Raid keeping him quiet and under my control. I tilted his head to the side and bit into that elegant neck of his. Mmmmm, his blood tastes like candy with a hint of tomato sauce. I drank a little more and let go of him. He fell back into my arms so I carried him to a bench and gave him a sea-salt icecream. Since dating Sora I've been given a ton of sea-salt icecream so I can spare a couple hundred of them, but one will do for now. That should replace his lost blood. Ah shit. Here comes psyco. She looks pissed so I'd better run, but before I go remember kids do not attempt to do any of these things Zara and I do. Its illegal and you'll get hurt. Kay bye!

* * *

**Author's Note: **

How's it going? This chapter will be dedicated to everybody who's having a bad day and needs a laugh. Review and don't forget to suggest ways to destroy the hat.~Bff#3


	31. ALIEN DISSECTION

If it's not clear already, you should be fully aware that I am not of Earth. I am of Sun. So, you may call me, if you wish, an alien. Being an "alien," I must perform certain tasks when on Earth. This includes, but is not limited to, crop circles using my universe bending and dissecting some sort of creature. Because we created you humans in our image, I would rather not dissect you, but something more normal, such as a cow or a sheep. Upon asking this question to Bluefire, I was met with a blank yet disgusted stare.

"Why would you want to do something disgusting like that?" Sigh. She just doesn't know our ways. Or that she's missing about 200 cells from the back of her right eyeball, courtesy of moi, when we did the brain transfer.

"It is a custom which every being of the Sun must perform. Why do you think there are cows mutilated in fields every so often? That's us."

* * *

I proceeded to research an animal which I could kill and dissect without anyone really caring. I stumbled onto a page about Biology and all that jazz. I made an order, and in ten seconds flat, the package comes falling from the sky in my backyard.

Inside the bucket were frogs, all dead, all preserved in that sickening liquid. Bluefire-chan runs back inside, I think to heave out her bile. I carry the bucket, but I realize it drips. Seeing the love of my life, besides Aang (he cheated on me with Katara, so I reincarnated him into that Korra girl), walking towards the house to pick up Bluefire, I zap the hat off his head, replacing it with a clean, empty bucket. There are now frogs and the fluid in his hat. I smile.

* * *

Well, my first dissections were a success. However, due to them being icky and gory to the ongoing public, don't read past this sentence if you don't want to get disgusted.

To sum it up, I brought them all back to life, used the tractor beam on them in my backyard, and cut them open after drugging them. I was careful to sew their skin back up, like my dad showed me, and I dropped them back into the backyard with the tracking devices in place. Now I wonder if the anatomy of a frog is similar to that of a cow. Hmmm...

* * *

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, or Legend of Korra.

So yeah, Aang and Katara cheated on Zara and Zuko, but at the same time, Zuko was cheating on Katara with Mei, so the battle which resulted from when everybody found out is what killed Aang and Zuko, possibly Mei also.


	32. Nuclear Reactor Core Yeah

**Author's Note : **Chapter 32 deserves a warning. Do not under any circumstances, try this ever.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Cosplay~ The best hobby I have in the world. Now I was dressed like Rin from the song Meltdown, every detail matching with the combination of Gakupo's sewing skills and my skills with hair. I smirked as I held that retarded hat in my hands. I swear this hat burns as I'm holding it. I looked down at the nuclear reactor's core and instead of me jumping, I threw in that stupid hat. How did I manage to get the hat? Well, it goes a little like this

* * *

Three hours ago, I was sitting on the couch looking over at Gakupo. He was busy playing peek-a-boo with James while Jiro-nii-san was on the floor and playing with Francisco and Bella. I tapped on Gakupo's shoulder and kissed him. He didn't know it, but he would be responsible for something completely hilarious. His eyes turned lusty purple and he handed James over to me. He plucked up Francisco and Bella and put them on my lap next to their brother.

"Gaky is something wrong?" Jiro-nii-san asked, completely confused.

"That's Officer Kamui to you," Gakupo replied, his eyes serious looking.

"Okay then, you're in the mood," Jiro-nii-san said looking at Gakupo's posture.

"Shut it punk! You're under arrest for trying to seduce an officer of the law!" Gakupo snapped as he put a hand cuff on Jiro-nii-san's right hand. He led him to the back of the couch and pushed him until Jiro-nii-san's upper body was balanced on top of the couch. Gakupo finished cuffing his "criminal" so he couldn't escape.

"W-wait! This is taking things too far!" Jiro-nii-san cried, now realizing this wasn't one of the adult games they would play from time to time.

"Can it! Its time scum suckers like you learn your place!" Gakupo snapped as he took out a broom and started spanking the trapped Black Blood with it. Jiro-nii-san cried out in pain, tears running down his cheeks and leaving his face red.

"Suck it up and take your punishment like a man!" Gakupo shouted as he started hitting harder. James, Bella, and Francisco started laughing at their Daddy's pain. Jiro-nii-san kept crying as his normally gentle lover beat him relentlessly. I noticed that Kanda was walking in the room so I transported him over and handed off the triplets to him as I went to dispose of the hat.

* * *

Why would I ever pick a nuclear reactor to destroy a hat? Well I might as well see if that thing could help power the Earth so why not. After it disintirated I jumped down and landed on that crazy chick from the zoo. She was left unconcious and that tasty guy she was with looked ready to kill me. I lept at him and bit into his uncovered wrist. I didn't take any blood, but he would be busy twitching and feeling like he was in the middle of making a baby. Heh, now to run.

* * *

Once I came home I saw that Kanda was asleep with my dear niece and nephews in his arms and Gakupo was still punishing Jiro-nii-san. I snapped my fingers and Gakupo snapped out of it.

"J-Jiro-san. I-I...," Gakupo started before he started crying into his hands. He dropped to his knees and wept openly over the fact that he abused the love of his life. I sighed and held the poor guy close to me and wipped away his tears as they came. I let him fall alseep against me before I put him on the couch next to Kanda. I released Jiro-nii-san and carried him to the front of the couch. He fell asleep the instant he was put on the floor. I smiled before skipping to go sleep in Jiro-nii-san's bed simply because its the softest bed in the house.

* * *

**Author's note: **Yay, its done! Finally. Sorry if its really bad, but my w key is acting up so yeah. Sorry. Review and give Gakupo a little love, he needs it right now.~Bff#3


	33. Infinite Leagues of Germs

I put on my biohazard suit, and Bluefire-chan donned hers. It didn't really take a lot to get this hat: Jiro was still extremely sore from being smacked around all night, so he dropped it from its hiding place. It was duct-taped to the ceiling. The CEILING. I honestly can't believe we didn't see that coming. So, Jiro is still sore and tired, but very alert. So we had to do one thing: NINJAS. Sneaking past the couch, we grabbed the hat from the corner and ran like heck out of there. Jiro, even if he did see us, didn't bother to get up.

Now, back to the biohazard. Currently, Bluefire-chan and I are in my personal science lab within Jupiter. Yeah, it only took one second for my dad to build it once I sent word of my successful dissections. Anyway, I turned on the giant machine in the center of the room, loud and obnoxious, but we don't care. Inside were the different types of deadly bacteria and other disgusting germs, some thought to be wiped off Earth. Which they were, because we are not on Earth anymore, we're in Jupiter. I hold up the hat to a one-way opening, and it immediately is vacuumed inwards, letting no germs escape.

If you remember the wood chipper, you'll know that I can give life to objects, or a surplus of energy which will last forever, unless I stop it myself. This is exactly what I did to the machine: it will never stop, and just keep contaminating the hat over and over again.

* * *

When we went back to Earth, Jiro was waiting for us. "Where's my hat?" He asks, kind of knowing the answer, as both of us are wearing our biohazard suits still.

"Here's your hat," I say in a phony American-country accent, poofing up one of those small, red, battery operated jeeps that kids drive around their yards in. Just then, Jiro did the impossible: he lifted up the car, and threw it into the street, actually starting a tantrum.

"I want my hat!" I'm not joking. He's actually crying his eyes out. Which is bad, because tears are water. So he's crying and steaming and kicking the air, until he finally falls over, out of breath. By this point, Bluefire-chan and I start tiptoeing slowly to my house.

* * *

3BFFs does NOT OWN: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, or 1000 Leagues Under The Sea (not really mentioned, just slightly referenced in the title).

Yeah, this was actually a nightmare I had when I was little, and it was one of my toys or something that got sucked into the machine. And there was a country guy, who offered me one of those blue mini jeeps, and I threw it towards the ceiling.

I hated that dream. Review with ideas from dreams you hate!


	34. You Kolled?

**Author's Note : **Chapter 34, one of my personal favorite chapters. Enjoy~

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Teehee. Oh the irony, how sweet it is. My older brother being put in time out by me, revenge! Revenge! Muahahaha!

"Now stay here and think about what you did," I said, turning to leave.

"This is rediculous! I'm older than you! You have no right to do this to me!" Jiro-nii-san snapped. I could feel the anger rediating off of him.

"No talking in time out or do you want me to get Gakupo back here with his broom," I threatened, looking over my shoulder at him. His eyes widened with fear and he turned around, probably to cry in fear. I swiped the hat off his head and ran off, but not before stationing Gakupo near him. Luckily he was sweeping the floor at the time and Jiro-nii-san screamed in panic at the sight of his lover's weapon.

* * *

I smirked as I readied Zara's basement. I'd do it in mine, but that's where our wildebeast named Hana and her baby Hina are living and I don't want them to get hurt.

"Bluefire-chan this better be worth it. We're missing Friendship is Magic because of this," Zara complained as we lit the candles.

"Don't worry, this will be awesome. So awesome that Prussia and Rainbow Dash will say that its awesome," I replied as I put on the black cloak from a posts ago. I think it was the flamethrower. Anyways, time to get started. I started singing the demon summoning song my teacher Arthur had taught me years ago. Just according to plan the portal opened and out popped Ivan aka Russia. Sure he and Alfred don't get along, but the two of us seem to get along well. Then again I can never tell what this giant is thinking.

"You Kolled?" He asked, with that smile that most people find creepy. I gave him the hat.

"Could you get rid of this for me?" I asked, unknowingly looking adorable.

"Of course Comrade, but you owe me plenty of sunflowers and vodka da?" He replied, those amethist eyes twinkling.

"Fine," I said, agreeing to anything within reason for getting rid of the hat. After my friend dissappeared I turned to face Zara. She was in awe.

"How did you not wet your pants talking to him?" Zara asked, looking both impressed and horrorfied at the same time.

"You've seen my older brother when he's angry. I've dealt with that, Kanda's pure rage, and Sebastian's true form. Ivan is nothing compaired to seeing all three of them at the same time," I answered, looking and sounding dead-pan as I answered her question.

* * *

By the time we made it back we saw that Gakupo had Jiro-nii-san tied up and on the couch. He was gagged and being forced to watch My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic. Gakupo smiled as we sat down beside him.

"Your punishment seemed too tame for him so I decided to punish him myself," Gskupo said with an evil look in those sapphire eyes. God he looked sexy.

"How is this a punishment?" Zara asked, bending us up a large barrel of popcorn.

"Jiro-san was acting like a child so the best way to punish him is to treat him like a child and now-a-days children watch these amazing ponies," Gakupo repiled. Yup, he's a brony alright and Zara and I made him one. Now Jiro-nii-san is going through the process of becoming a brony himself. Theres no escaping such a fate. So come to the brony side, we have cupcakes. Sans Rainbow Dash of course.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Lol, I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry its short, but its something. We of 3BFFs are infact bronies ourselves so yeah, there will be references to MLP FiM everywhere. Review and tell us if you think Gakupo's punishment for Jiro is too harsh, if thats okay.~Bff#3


	35. Anchors Ahoy!

A cruise! We're going on a cruise! I don't know what a cruise is, but still, we're going on it! We're all packed into a minivan at the moment, and by we, I mean Bluefire, Gakupo, Jiro (the LOVE OF MY LIFE!), their babies, and me! They say we're at the duck, but I see no duck. Bluefire nudges me and says it's a dock.

"Ohhh," I say. I pop open the sun window (after all, it is my car), and I sit with my legs in the vehicle still, smashing my feet against Jiro's face. I hear everyone except Jiro laughing, probably because he doesn't like me. It's okay, though, because I know we can never be together. The truth is, I'm not really 15. That's just the amount of stars I've lived on. The fifteenth star I've been on since its existence is the one in this miscellaneous anime-crossover solar system, and that's approximately four point five billion Earth years. This star is middle-aged, so if you take that into consideration, in Earth years, I would be around 130.5 billion years old, give or take. Let's keep that our little secret, 'kay?

"Get your feet off me," Jiro says, pulling me back into the van. I swoon back into my seat as he drives onto a large ship. We're going to be on it for a week, and I am super excited. It reminds me of the time that I woke up in Prince Zuko's cargo hold. Fun times.

* * *

"So, are you ready to party?" Bluefire asks after chanting and turning twenty five. I nod, and snap my fingers, turning myself into what looks to be twenty one, which includes a new wardrobe of something similar to March!Eridan. "Why didn't you tell me you could do that?" Bluefire-chan screeches at me.

"What? I thought you knew! After all, a 'Universe bender' can change anything with just a snap of their fingers! When we had to go in to get the flamethrower that one time, I was just about to change myself when you pulled me inside!" I say back. We just leave together in silence, seeing how Gakupo's below decks in the infirmary with the babies, and Jiro is at our destination.

* * *

"I... I would like to sing... 'Best Friend's Brother'," I whisper into the microphone. Flipping a coin decided that I would be the distraction. Then again, I influenced it to land that way, so I could sing. Quickly snapping, I alter my vocal chords to sound exactly like Victoria.

_I call you up when I know he's at home, I jump out of my skin when he picks up the phone. Why can't I tell if he's looking at me? Should I give him a smile? Should I get up and leave? I know it's strange, I don't what I'm thinking, But is it wrong if I see him this weekend. I really hope I can get him alone, I just don't, don't want her to know._

I can see Bluefire-chan facepalming in the back of the club from my song choice. She takes her cue, however, when I point to her and say 'get up and leave': she moves to the table with Jiro, and spikes his drink. I squint while singing, though, and I notice something horrible: it's not Jiro. Sure, his name starts with a J, but he's from a completely different fandom! It's Julius, from Alice in The Country of Hearts! _  
Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah, My best friend's brother is the one for me! Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah, A punk rock drummer and he's 6 foot 3! I don't want to, but I want to, Cause I just can't get him out of mind and Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah My best friend's brother is the one for me! BFB, BFB! My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother!  
_ While singing the chorus, I take a long jump off the stage with the microphone, and land on Jiro's table, and do a random dance. Bluefire takes notice, and spikes his drink as I jump off the table, sit in the chair next to him, and then make my way back to the stage. By the time I've done all this, I've finished singing, and I snapped to make my vocal chords normal again.

* * *

After the club hours were over, Bluefire-chan and I walked out, laughing like imbeciles. We passed a very drunk Julius flirting on who he thought was Alice, who in reality, was Ace. After a few minutes of searching, we found the second victim to the Starcohol, Jiro. He was right where we wanted him, leaning against and talking to an anchor.

"Hey, Jiro," I say, "Can we have your hat?" He smiles stupidly, handing us the hat. We attach it to the anchor he's not leaning on, and we sink it, seeing how the cruise isn't in motion right now.

"Noez! Hattie! I wants you!" He cries, jumping towards the water. I quickly make him sober and put an air pocket around him. It will last for until he touches his hat, and then it will disappear. We're so cruel to him. In a funny way, though, so it's okay to laugh.

* * *

Wow, that's my longest chapter! ~BFF#1

3BFFs does not own: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Homestuck, 'Best Friend's Brother' sung by Victoria Justice, Victoria Justice, or Alice in The Country of Hearts. Or any cruise ship company, if you can connect this to any specific ship...


	36. TOOOO THE MOOOOOOOOONAAAAA!

**Author's Note : **Chapter 36, a chapter that shant be forgotten so easily.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I sighed as I dove down deeper into the aquatic abyss, after my idiotic older brother whom was freaking out about his current predicament. My disguise from the club still holding up very nicely based off of the thick blush on his cheeks. Ew, that feels so wrong on so many levels! Not only is he my brother, but my older brother! I mean like way older! I'm eighteen while he's like what 101 years old now? So gross. I grabbed his arm and led him to the surface, ignoring the intent stare from the perv I call a brother. We surfaced and quickly swam to the boat before jumping in throught the nearest porthole, being the one at the infirmary. Let the awkard begin. Sweet Gakupo was taking a nap as he held his and Jiro-nii-san's babies. Francisco was nuzzled against Gakupo's right shoulder, Bella was sleeping under Gakupo's chin, and James was over Gakupo's heart. From what the purplette told me he loved the sound of a beating heart, exactly like his daddy back when he was a little baby. I shoved Jiro-nii-san to the floor next to the slumbering four-fifths of his family. Gakupo woke up with a yawn and looked around before shrugging and going back to sleep. I smiled as I waved my hands, silently reciting the transport spell. Of course Zara will have to stay here though, serves her right for mocking my delicious pancakes!

* * *

Yes! Success! Now my group is in the wonderful town of Ponyville, the happiest place in Equestria! I smiled as I looked at my reflection. I was a light blue alicorn, that's a unicorn with wings for you beginners, with a blonde mane and a cutie mark that resembled my magic crystal. I giggled as I looked over at my captives. For Gakupo he was a lovely lavender pegasus with a slightly darker purple mane and his cutie mark was an eggplant and a music note. James turned out to be a black unicorn with a short black mane, and since he's a baby he doesn't have a cutie mark. Francisco matched Gakupo except he also didn't have a cutie mark and his wings were much smaller. Bella was an alicorn like I am except she's black and purple like her mane and she didn't have a cutie mark like her brothers. Her wings were black and her horn was lavender, the opposite of James and Francisco. Jiro-nii-san, I couldn't possibly forget you. Teehee, he's stuck as a red unicorn with a black mane and a silver horn, his cutie mark was of his sword and a full moon. Perfectly showing his swordsmanship and our last name. That awful hat managed to transport with us, revenge...REVENGE!

* * *

Yes, now its time to play my favorite game. Send the stupid thing to the moon! This week's contestant is totally retarded, is probably eating away at my older brother's brain, lets give an awful welcome to the retarded hat! (Now's the time to start booing). Ayway's lets spin the wheel to see what sort of torture this thing will experience. Round and round and round she goes, where she stops only Celestia knows. It soon stopped on the best thing ever, the super special surprize.

* * *

I smirked as I sat on the throne, my Celestia costume on and ready to be ditched at a moment's notice. My dear hostage, I mean brother awakened with a groan as he sat up. The hat perched on his head ever so delicately. He looked up at me, clearly fearing for his life. Hey if you were met with a crazy smiling Celestia wouldn't you be scared too?

"Wh-why am I here your majesty?" Jiro-nii-san asked timidly, so unlike his usual self.

"I summoned you here to ask you a question," I replied with a grin...here it comes.

"Anything dear princess, what is it you require?" Jiro-nii-san inquired with a bow, oh he's gonna get it.

"Tell me, do you like bananas?"

"Bananas?"

"Yes, do you like bananas?"

"Well I guess I do."

"So you're telling me that you are a mmm beyetche who likes mmmm bananas?"

"That isn't very nice, but I guess so."

"Well that's good, 'cus your about to go bananas on the moooooooooona! BEYEEEEEEETCHE!" Just as I screamed this out a cannon came up from the floor, taking the hat into the barrel of it. It fired, sending the cannon to the moon and leaving me and my now handsome brother alone. Jiro-nii-san stood there, staring at the sky until Gakupo landed next to him, the triplets giggling from their seat on his back.

"Check it out Jiro-san! I can fly!" Gakupo said happily as he grabbed Jiro-nii-san by his torso and flew into the sky, not caring that his captive was screaming as he was being flown through the air. I sighed before ditching the costume and flying off after a grey pegasus with derpy eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I am so satisfied with this chapter right now. Sure it could be better, but atleast its up and ready for your enjoyment! Review and try to guess who the pegasus Bluefire was flying off after.~Bff#3


	37. Viva Alternia

I'm missing out on ponies because of some pancakes? Bluefire-chan, I didn't really make fun of your pancakes! I was trying to cheer you up! In fact, here's our conversation we had when they came up:

**BMochizuki has signed on.**

**BMochizuki: **My pancakes in cooking class sucked

**BMochizuki: **And I probably failed said lab for my group

**me: **Aw, it's okay.

**BMochizuki: **They were white!

**BMochizuki: **And tasted like flour!

**me: **Don't be so racist!

**me: **Canada would like them, though...

**BMochizuki: **I feel like Iggy right now

**me: **Iggy raising America or Canada?

**me: **Or both?

**BMochizuki: **Both, and failing to make pancakes for breakfast

There was more to the conversation, but it's irreverent to the point I'm trying to make. I mean, I could just poof myself over to Ponyville to help destroy a hat, but I'd rather do something related to a fandom that Bluefire isn't a part of:

HOMESTUCK.

Off to the Veil I go, to a time in an alternate timeline when all the trolls were alive and not insane with cabin fever. And maybe I'll get to see – and help out – Eridan Ampora!

* * *

"WHO THE F #& ARE YOU?!" Karkat says/shouts to me as I teleport into the main computer room.

"Your savior, from the future, Karkat Vantas. I have come to tell all twelve of you a horrifying tale, and-"

"wwhy dont you get on wwith the point" my FAVORITE sea dweller says. I stare at his GORGEOUSNESS for a few seconds, and I see he's getting creeped out.

"Okay, fine. All you have to do is destroy this stupid hat!" I shout, tossing it into the air and ducking behind the horn pile for cover. I hear no hat destroying sounds, so I peek from my hiding place. Everybody's just staring at me. I add, "If you destroy the hat together, you'll get a special prize."

The trolls then ready their weapons and charge at the hat, badly mutilating it. Clapping, I walk up to them, and prepare a "list". As I open my mouth, though, I start running away, grabbing Eridan and carrying him away. Taking him to a closet, I disguise myself as him, and kick him in the head, knocking him out cold.

* * *

"sol" I say, walking up to the yellow blooded land dweller. "fef" I look at her. "you twwo are perfect for each other" I walk closer to them.

"ED, what are you doiing? Can't you 2ee iim haviing a feeliing2 jam wiith FF?" I sit down next to him, and quickly grab his face, kissing him – with hate – on the lips. He pulls away and shouts, "Ampora! What are you doiing?!" I then hug Feferi.

"Glub! -Eridan, w)(at's t)(e matter?" I walk away, not saying anything. After transporting myself, I run back to the supply closet and change myself back.

"Hey, Eri! I see you're awake!" I pat his head, smiling.

"wwhy wwould you do that" he asks me, angry. "howw long wwas i out"

"Only a few minutes. Now, this may hurt a bit." I transfer the memories of what happened into his mind, and his eyes widen. He grins, gets up, and is greeted by his unrequited kismesis and ex-moirail at the door when he opens it up. Sollux punches him in the arm, slaps him in the face, and kicks him multiple times in the bucket-parts. Feferi hugs him.

I go back into the main room, and quickly create a vault in the horn pile filled with infinite Faygo. No Dark Circus in this timeline. My work here done, I transport myself to my next stop…

* * *

Well, I hope you enjoyed this installment of 1000 Ways. 3BFFs does NOT own: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Hetalia, or Homestuck. Or Faygo.

And if you can't tell, I, BFF#1, love Eridan Ampora.


	38. Ponyville Horror

**Author's Note : **Chapter 38, time for a little awesomeness!

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Ugh that Zara, it wasn't my Basic Foods pancakes I was referring to. I was referring to the time you laughed at me for putting chocolate icing on my toaster pancakes. They don't taste like cardboard if you put icing on them! I find it odd that she mocks me for making bad food taste better by doing so and yet she goes on and on about how sexy Jiro-nii-san is and expects me to respond. Okay A he's my brother so I can't say anything like that. B, I've got a boyfriend already, though he's busy saving the universe right now. And C he's older than me, like a lot older. Ew its almost like saying Cain is attractive.

* * *

Anywho back to Ponyville, where I happened to transport Kanda, Sebastian and their babies Alfred and Yuuna. Sebastian was an all black pegasus with red eyes and the Faustan contract symbol as his cutie mark. Alfred was a smaller version of Sebastian, but minus the cutie mark. Even if he is demon spawn he's still a baby. Then there's Kanda, how could I forget about you. Kanda was a cobalt blue unicorn with a black horn and his precious Mugen as his cutie mark. Yuuna was a smaller, female version of Kanda, but like the other babies had no cutie mark.

"Uwah! Sebastian you look so adorable!" Gakupo cried as he ran up to his fellow male mommy.

"I could say the same about you," Sebastian replied as he set Alfred down so he could play with the other babies.

Whilest the two mothers talked Jiro-nii-san and Kanda were staring at each other, well more like glaring really, having the semblance of a conversation. Jiro-nii-san figured out how to use his magic and made another hat, one that shall die soon.

* * *

The ten of us all trotted off to Ponyville, a crowd of ponies both mare and stallion alike staring at us. Most of the stares were directed at me for only princesses were alicorns. The mares all stared at Sebastian with hearts in their eyes, sighing and all that other romantic junk that makes me want to vomit as I'm typing this.

"You guys go on ahead, I've gotta use the ladies room," I said before flying off to another part of town.

* * *

Gakupo's POV

So after my sweet, soon to be sister-in-law left I snuggled next to my man. Yes he's my man, back off. Things went smoothly as we found a quiet section of the park to sit down and have a picnic. Kanda-san and Jiro-san had a magic duel while Sebastian-san and I watched the kids and got lunch.

"You three are just so cute I wanna eat you up~" I cooed to my adorable babies. Yes their my babies, back off. All was peaceful until a quick blur of black and purple rushed by. That acursed hat was yanked off my honey bear's head and thrown a very far distance away from here. Yes! That mane is mine to run my fingers through! Wait, I don't have fingers right now...Gods damn it!

* * *

Normal POV

Okay so to explain the black and purple blur we must look back to previous seasons of MLP: FiM. You all remember the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well don't you? Well to sum it up she's actually members of the Mane Six, except Rainbow Dash, dressed up in a costume. I "borrowed" said costume and took off. I quickly found where my target was due to a recent post on Facebook cortesy of Sebastian's need to please his rabid fangirls. Once my target was in sight it was a matter of just taking the hat and flinging it to the far side of Equestria. Easy enough if you're me.

* * *

Sadly our trip had to end when Kanda tripped and crashed into a random, muscular pony.

"The ass needed to watch where he was going," Kanda complained as I transported us home. As for Zara, well she can get home on her own. She's a big girl now and can handle solo missions. In the distance I could see the Mane Six wave us off before we disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. Gakupo looked happy to have his normal form back, as he was smiling as he ran his fingers through Jiro-nii-san's hair.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry the Mane Six doesn't have a major role in this chappie, but I have other plans for them soon. Review and if you don't there won't be any chocolate icing on your toaster pancakes.~Bff#3


	39. Do the Windy Thing

I honestly don't remember insulting your pancakes. I really don't. Pop Tarts, maybe, but not pancakes.

~ Princess Zara

* * *

Flying down to the burning planet, I see the Heir of Breath, John Egbert.

"Yo! John!" I said, waving. I pulled out the other red hat which I had on hand. "I need a favor. A Wayward Vagabond is going to tell you to do 'The Windy Thing'. Could you destroy this hat, too?" He stares at me blankly. "I bet it will get you a rung on your Echeladder… or whatever it is!"

"Oh, sure, if it will help with Sburb, of course!" John says, taking the hat and blowing it away. I back up and watch as he extinguishes the flames. When finished, he jumps up and earns a new rung on his ladder: Stupid Hat Destroyer.

* * *

Flying back to my house on our Earth, I wait for Bluefire and the others to come back. So lonely. Videogames? No, played them all… with interesting results. Watch TV? Boring. I know! I'll read the newest update for Homestuck! Ha ha! There's a pumpkin on his head! Wait… what pumpkin? Well, that was fun while it lasted. Now, time to summon them back, pony or not! Ha ha!

* * *

3BFFs does not own Homestuck. Can anyone guess who I'm talking about at the end? [SPOILER ALERT!]


	40. THE GAME! I mean Chain Chomp

**Author's Note : **Time for Chapter 40, warning it is not for the faint of heart, people who dislike crossdressing or genderbending, or are prone to chronic nosebleeds. Read at your own risk. We here at 3BFFs do not take any responsibility if you suffer from nosebleeds or your heart skips a couple beats, so yeah be careful.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

I sneezed for the umpteenth time since we got back home, shivering and in dire need of both blood and sleep. Since I am only half magic it takes a lot of my energy to transport anything from one place to another, but I use up the most transporting people. And since most of my strength is drained I got sick with the flu due to most of my immune system being offline until said strength returns. So here I am, sick as a dog in bed, barely able to speak and having to deal with Zara being well, Zara.

"And then when I told him to do the windy thing he actually did it! Amazing right?" Zara said as she went on and on about her adventures in the Homestuck. Never got into the fandom so I really can't say mush about it. I just mutely half-listened as I drew on a little whiteboard, my only form of communication until my throat stops hurting.

"By the way, why are Jiro-kins, Gakupo, Kanda, and Sebastian in nurse dresses?" Ah I was just waiting for her to ask that. I turned my whiteboard over and simply wrote.

'Simple, I gave Gakupo my best puppy dog face. He thought it was so cute and that I was so pathetic that he pretty much forced the others into dressing like that. I overheard something about wooden steaks and not being able to urinate for the rest of eternity so I guess threats were made and taken seriously,' I scribbled down, making sure my blonde hat destroying cohort got it.

"But why do you have to get sick now! We were going to send them into THE videoGame world!" Zara complained. I merely shrugged before grabbing my trash can and throwing up some more mucus into it.

'Figure something out, I'm going to sleep,' I wrote before pointing to the door. Zara just sat down by my Wii, did her Universe Bender thing and of course we had Jiro-nii-san, Kanda, and Gakupo trapped in Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games London 2012. Jiro-nii-san was Mario with his retarded hat replacing Mario's usual one, Gakupo was Blaze from Sonic...I think that's where she's from..., and Kanda well Kanda was.

"Kanda why are we girls?" The now female Gakupo asked the clearly pissed off female Kanda.

"I don't fucking care! Just get me out of this girly ass outfit!" Kanda snapped, he was stuck as Princess Peach so yeah, pink, pink and guess what? More Pink!

"Where are the Chain Chomps?" Zara inquired as she handed me the remote, but since she is keeping me from sleep I'll just annoy her by cplaying some other sports first.

* * *

The first event I chose was Ribbon Dancing with our favorite Exorcist Kanda. Oh the pure joy I felt as I made him dance and twirl that pink ribbon. Teehee, he looked very angry, but also very very cute at the same time. A thick red blush on his face, and his scowl simply giving him the perfect tsundere look. With Zara's powers we got to see Gakupo and Jiro-nii-san perform, Gakupo was very coordinated and balanced while Jiro-nii-san, well lets just say Zara and I laughed until our stomachs hurt for he was stuck in a red and blue leotard.

"Do you think Jiro-kins would look sexy in the girl's outfit?" Zara asked. I messed around with the controls a bit, putting him in a pink girl's leotard. The skirt cut off at a point where he actually looked like a girl, especially during the twirls and poor Zara got a major nosebleed to the third degree.

* * *

After mopping up the blood Sebastian joined us in torturing out two victums and willing volunteer. This next event was Jiro-nii-san's worst nightmare.

Swimming, syncronized swimming to be exact. He had a hatred of it since he was a teenager and was brough into a modeling company looking for female models. He did very well until they got to swimsuits. Long story short we got every single photo taken of Jiro-nii-san and he was banned from every global Fashion Week, well excpt for that one Fashion Week in Paris...Never will wear sequins ever again.

With Sebastian at the controls he managed to make the performance look pretty good, with flips in the air and making hearts in the water, Jiro-nii-san cursing under his breath and steaming since the second he hit the water. We got the Gold medal, but Jiro-nii-san was about ready to die.

* * *

We played the events one at a time, from discus throw to the London Party, saving the best for last...Dream Equestrian. Now I know you all must think I'm Miss Perfect Mary Sue, but I'm not. Anything Dream Equestrian related I completely and utterly suck at. At best I only got three out of seven Yoshi eggs to the finish line. Anybody could beat me, even Jiro-nii-san and Kotaro beat me! And I usually beat their pathetic asses in pretty much every other game we own, well except for Slender. I scream the minute I catch glimpse of the creepy stalker and have nightmares about the experience and well everytime I do have a nightmare Jiro-nii-san checks on me and everytime I have a Slender nightmare he gets punched in the face while I scream, "Don't rape me I'm not cute enough!"

"Is the Chain Chomp in this one?" Zara inquired exasporatedly, clearly tired from me making her have an epic nosebleed every time Jiro-nii-san is in a gymnastics, running, or swimming event. She just nosebleeds on her own when he gets sweaty from fencing, badmitton, and table tennis.

'Yes Zara, and stop nosebleeding or else I'll tell Jiro-nii-san about you fantasizing about him in leather pants!' I wrote, adding the threat as an after thought.

"Aw~ But he probably looks amazing in leather!" Zara whined as our team was finalized. It was Jiro-nii-san as the leader, with Kanda, Gakupo, and Princess Daisy pull along with him. The race started and already I knew I couldn't do it, I passed the remote to Zara, who nearly ran over the innocent Moo Moo's, but luckily she didn't even though I could tell she wanted to. I swiped it from her and gave it to Sebastian, who like the flawless demon he is, managed to easily make it to the Chain Chomp part. This is where the fun happened, we sped up a bit, letting the Chain Chomp get right behind them and he immediately snatched the hat off of Jiro-nii-san's head, tearing it to shreds. Jiro-nii-san looked about ready to cry at this point so after they crossed the finish line Zara transported them out of THE GAME. The trio returned in their nurse's outfits and Jiro-nii-san would up landing by Zara. He pusheed himself off the ground with one arm, rubbing his head with his other hand and his waist turned. The skirt of the dress he was stuck wearing was pushed up, revealing a part of his black boxers. Zara fainted, her nosebleeding.

"Clean up on Aisle Four!" Sebastian shouted as Kanda simply slung my unconcious friend over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Jiro-nii-san blushed, sitting up and pushing the skirt down and looking like a cutesy little school girl. I took a picture and made a mental note, make Jiro-nii-san crossdress more often.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoyed~ And for those of you who haven't played Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games London 2012, you really should. But I must warn you, if you play table tennis and badmitton for too long your arm will be very sore for the next few days. Review and if you ask nicely there will be more moe moments~Bff#3.


	41. Pika Pika

I had a very strange dream sequence as I fainted. Pokémon, everywhere, all using thunder shock… even if some of them weren't electric. Looking around, I saw all their trainers, all wearing leather pants. Muttering something about a Millenium Puzzle, my gaze drifts downward and I see that I am in fact the accursed hat. The Pokémon all directed their attack at me. I screamed as I woke up, the blood rushing to my head as I was being carried along.

* * *

"Ah, I see you're awake. Don't worry, though. We're almost at your house." I started screaming and kicking the person's head, not realizing it was Sebastian. Remember how I thought some Pokémon were Jeff the Killer? Well, I thought Sebastian was Ronald McDonald and Cain's love child. You can tell why I was screaming. "Zara, I would advise you to stop. It is I, Sebastian Michaelis. Please, stop screaming." I cease. He puts me down and I dust myself off. This is how they treat a princess? Couldn't they have afforded a wheelbarrow of some sort?

Quickly, I run into my house, slam the door in the demon's face, and go up the stairs to my room. Then, I find one of my old Pokémon posters from a Burger King promotion and reach my hand through the picture. My hand goes through a portal which looks like rippling water. I yank out my hand, grabbing a wild Pikachu's tail and pulling it out of the poster.

"Pika pi!" I squeal, telling the electric mouse my plan.

* * *

We go to the Black Blood's house. I look completely like Ash Ketchum from the first generation. I ring the bell and Gakupo answers.

Changing my voice, I say, "I'm here with the electrical company. We would like to inquire about a recent power surge."

"Ah, hi Ash! I didn't know that you worked for the power people!" Gakupo replied.

"Oh, my name isn't Ash. I'm… Dash Ketchup!" I quickly make an excuse. The purple haired Vocaloid lets me in. I run upstairs, find the Black Blood, and have Pikachu tackle his hat to the ground.

"What? Ash! What are you doing?!" Jiro shouts.

"I'm not freaking Ash Ketchum! I'm Dash Ketchup!" I shout. "Pikachu! Use thunder shock!" The Pikachu does just that, and the hat is burned to a crisp, the buckle keeping an electrical charge. Now to transport it back in time to Benjamin Franklin. But that chapter can wait until the hundreds… 132, to be exact.

* * *

3BFFs doesn't own Black Blood Brothers, Vocaloid, ATLAB, Pokémon, Black Butler, McDonalds, Burger King, or Rainbow Dash... with Ketchup. OR Benjamin Franklin. Or anything else that I forgot to list here. We don't own anything, okay?


	42. Super Duper Spy Time!

**Author's Note : **42, nearly to 50. Woot almost half of Jiro's age! P.S. Be prepared for awful nicknames.

**Disclaimer : **We of 3BFFS do not own Black Blood Brothers nor any show or other kind of reference made in this fic.

* * *

Walking down the street our group turned. Where are we you ask, well let's make this simple.

"Woooooo! Washington D.C.!" I shout as we enter some random plaza in the city.

"Shut up!" Jiro-nii-san snapped, well somebody didn't sleep well on the plane ride over. Okay so he annoyed me on the plane ride and I kept kicking his seat when he tried to sleep...and perhaps I also might have kicked Kanda's seat by accident so he tried to murder me earlier. Zara and I stayed together with Jiro-nii-san as our chaperone. I don't need one, but Zara needs atleast two around so yeah I dragged her favorite guy along with us and away from his precious Gaky. Now you guys might think I hate the Vocaloid for being with my Nii-san and taking up his attention, well I don't. I actually love Gakupo, he's like another older brother. Teehee, I love calling him 'Gakupo-nii-san' simply because he hugs me tight and blushes in a cutesy sort of way.

* * *

"Alright you two, stay here," Jiro-nii-san told us as he turned away.

"Why? You gotta take a leak?" I asked before smirking at his face. It literally screamed 'shut up or I'll murder you', the same exact look on Kandy-chan's face when he tried to kill me earlier. And yes Kanda is Kandy-chan to me, but I'll never all him that to his face. Zara stayed put like she was told while I started to wander off, I always wandered off during trips just to satisfy my endless curiosity

"Bluefire-chan~ You're supossed to stay here like Ji-Ji said to~" Zara cried, trying to get me to stop wandering. Like hell I'm listening to that ass.

"No thanks, I'm going to see if they sell deep-fried sweets," I replied before turning the corner. I bumped into somebody and upon realization...

"Ju-Ju Bear!" I cried as I hugged the bluenette to my chest. He tried to push me off of him, but I knew he wanted it.

"L-let go of me!" He shouted, a deep red blush on his handsome face. I heard running behind me and based on the scents I knew it was Jiro-nii-san and Zara. I simply picked up my captive and ran off to the Lincoln Memorial, why the Lincoln Memorial you ask. Well lets face it, Lincoln was one of the best US Presidents of all time!

* * *

Once I felt like I lost those two I released my captive and smiled, he looked so cute when he was angry.

"Honestly, this is why women are so troublesome," he sighed, looking to the side. I took his chin in my hand and kissed him, and why did I do this? Well Jiro-nii-san was about to run up the steps and I wanted to make the most of this.

* * *

I rubbed the back of my head as our quartet walked to the White House, a.k.a Alfred's job, Ju-Ju Bear a.k.a. Julius Monrey joined us simply because I forced him to...that or he was enticed by Jiro-nii-san's offer of buying him a cup of coffee after our tour.

"You both didn't need to hit me. I'm a young flower who has yet to bloom!" I griped as we entered the buildig and got into a tour group of my least favorite Americans...New Yorkers. Being a Jersey girl I have not liked New Yorkers since I first started driving, always taking their sweet old time in front of me and riding up my ass behind me. And do not even get me started on that awful show "Jersey Shore"! I felt ready to punch the guy who was trying to talk like he was from Jersey with his fake accent. Oh how much I wanted to punch him, but that's when I thought I saw Alfred walk by in one of the halls, and then I got an idea. An awful idea.

"Come on Zara, I need to pee and you're my bathroom buddy," I said before dragging her off as our tour guide started yapping on and on about how there were alledgedly spirits that haunted the White House.

* * *

"And why are we dressed like this?" Zara whispered as we sneaked up behind our targets. Currently Jiro-nii-san was talking to Julius, both of them making hurtful comments about me.

"To add to the awesomeness of this moment," I replied before taking our shot, but missing and nearly hitting Alfred's stray hair. The Secret Security saw us and I took Zara's hand as we took off in the other direction while Jiro-nii-san and Julius also ran off to avoid getting captured.

"Good luck ladies!" Alfred shouted to us and flashing us his signiture smile. Ah Alfred, you really are worthy of being called awesome. Time for Zara to write now, for I've got pictures to take of Ju-Ju Bear while he's sleeping.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Lol hope you enjoyed! The nickname Ju-Ju Bear was made up while typing up a fic where Julius was turned into a little kid and had a crush on Gakupo and then Jiro. LOL! Review and stay tuned for part too I mean two!~Bff#3


	43. Mission Hatpossible

We ran all throughout the halls of the White House. I suddenly stopped in front of a blank wall.

"Zara, what are you doing?!" Bluefire-chan shouted. The big guys who were chasing us were coming around the corner. I turned to her, grabbed her hand, and pulled her through the wall. The big guys chasing us stopped, and their minds were blown. We stood in a bright dimension, where everything was colored iridescent gold and backwards except for us. "Where are we?" Bluefire asked.

"We're invisible… and a little intangible. See the big guys over there?" I pointed at them. "They can't see us at all. So, watch this." I kicked one of them in the butt. This freaked out him and his friends, and they ran away.

"This is epic!" Bluefire-chan shouted. I snapped my fingers and we transported to the hall where we left our tour group. Still talking about ghosts, huh? She saw someone familiar. She punched him in the face. "Take that, New York!"

I rolled my eyes. "Let's find the hat. Come on!" There it is! We passed through a few people, who suddenly felt a chill. I grabbed the hat and put it on a big suited guy's head. I turned around to face Bluefire-chan, when all of a sudden…

"You two, what are you doing here?" A tall man with a beard said.

"What? You can see us? How?" I asked, completely puzzled.

"LINCOLN!" Bluefire shouted, hugging him.

* * *

3BFFs does NOT OWN: Black Blood Brothers, Avatar the Last Airbender, New York, or the White House.


End file.
